Our Visit to Dr. Funsucker

Remember how I mentioned that one of Vern's recent tests had come back with some abnormal results?

After our meeting with the specialist this week, it seems that there was not one abnormal result, but FOUR. They all point to a high probability of kidney stones.

This was, of course, news to us. I'm sure glad we went through four months of hell only to have someone tell us that he has a high likelihood of forming kidney stones. Because we couldn't have figured that one out on our own.

Anyway, back to the fun part. Here's what Dr. Funsucker told Vern.





No soda. No chocolate. No meat. No other women.


Okay, I'm joking about the "other women" part. I paid the doctor to tell him that.

It Just Keeps Getting Better

I knew it was too good to be true. I knew that this whole kidney stone business wasn't over.

Last week we got the news that one of Vern's tests had come back with abnormal results so they were referring him to a specialist. We have an appointment next week to deal with that issue.

If that wasn't bad enough, yesterday Vern got a call from his doctor who wants him to go back to the hospital for yet ANOTHER x-ray. The last CT scan showed a dense area from his kidney out through his back, roughly following the path of where the nephrostomy tube had been. This is the tube that they had so much trouble getting placed because of the size of his stone. And this is also the tube that, once in, was left in place for a couple of months.

Now it seems that there is an issue related to that tube. The area of denseness could simply be calcification because of the length of time that the tube was left in place. However, it could also be a trail of stone fragments that dumped out of the tube when it was removed. Ironically, it could also be part of the tube left behind.

I cannot believe that I am writing about this damn stone again. It's time to move the book about this whole ordeal from the "medical mystery" to the "medical horror" section of my bookshelf.

If It Wasn't Monday

I would swear it was Friday. The 13th.

Let's chalk this one up to a very bad, horrible, no good day.

Lincoln, our black lab who is never sick, has a large lump under his neck that needed to be biopsied by the vet.

We had a bad storm and our internet was out for 12 hours.

My computer got a virus, couldn't be recovered, and I lost almost 3 years - yes I said YEARS - of work, photos, files, and documents. (So if you don't get a Christmas card this year, it's because I don't have your address.) Of course, "back up computer" was on my list of things to do. The list is somewhere on my desk.

Vern's doctor called and some of his test results came back abnormally so they are referring him to yet another specialist. I guess it's time for a new chapter in the Kidney Stone Drama series.

If you don't hear from us, it's because we are hiding under the covers. And not in a good way.

Edited to add: You want to know how crappy of a Monday it is? It was such a bad Monday, that it actually happened on Tuesday. Somehow, somewhere, I lost a day. That's okay. The universe can keep it because I'm sure it was shitty too.

Look! He Glows in the Dark!

Vern had what we hope is the last treatment related to his kidney issues today.

They injected him with radioactive isotopes and then filled him up with water to see how his kidneys function and to assess the damage.

We hope this is the end of the road for all of this.

Except for the part where our bathroom is now a radioactive waste dump for the next few days.

Let's Cross This Off and Call It Done

Yes, that's right. This just may be the last post about Vern's kidney boulder.

All tubes have been removed, all surgeries are done, and all that is left is one further test to give us a good idea of just how damaged his kidney is and to make sure that all possible trace of the stone is gone. (We know some remains but it is in a location that is impossible to reach without much more invasive surgery and the doctor feels that it's just better left alone.)

Vern is getting quite a collection of leftover stones that are passing, and he'll be happy to show them to you if you ask politely. Maybe even if you don't.

He's been given permission to return to work in a couple of weeks and he's working on building up his strength again. I'm assisting him in that effort by making sure he has LOTS to do around here. So much work that I am positive he'll be happy to finally get to go back to his real job.

I believe this closes the final chapter and the book of this long and drawn out drama.

I'm hoping that there isn't a sequel.

The Best Medicine

Let's just say that for a fairly simple surgery, there sure was a lot of morphine handed out afterwards.

Vern's final surgery, while successful in the end, did not start out or end up too smoothly. He was so dehydrated that they simply could not get a vein for his IV. It was pretty excruciating to watch and much more so, I'm sure, for him to go through.

They wheeled him away to surgery and shuffled me off to the waiting room . . . and then played the hurry up and wait game while an emergency or two took control of the operating rooms. The surgery itself was delayed over two and a half hours.

He was moved into the intensive care unit after surgery both because of the late hour and also because of his pain level. I think there may be a nurse or two there that learned a few new words tonight, and we may owe the hospital some money for the destruction of some of their furniture. They finally got Vern under control by shooting him full of morphine. Four doses of it later and he was purring like a kitten.

And then they sent him home for me to deal with.

But the good news is that the damn stone is gone. Gone, gone, gone. Or at least as much of it is going to go. He has one final procedure to remove some hardware that will take place in the doctor's office in a couple of weeks and then he will be on the road to recovery.

It's been a rocky road, a bumpy ride, and an expensive trip.

Just like the toll roads in Illinois.

A Thank You and an Offer You Can't Resist

Vern received a yummy cookie bouquet from the guys he works with at Southwest, and we want to send out a huge "thank you" to all of them.

I've been told that you are all waiting for gory pictures. Unfortunately, I don't have many gory pictures that are safe to share.

I do, however, have an offer for you.

He needs someone to hold his pee bag for him when he returns to work. Any takers?

Two more surgeries and a few more weeks, and he'll be back to work. Someone clean off the couch for him, okay?

How is This for Irony?

Vern has been off of work for three months. We spoke to the doctor and got the schedule for the final (hopefully) two surgeries that he's going to need to have as well as his recovery period. He should be off work for another month or so.

He called his work trade partner to let him know when he would most likely be returning to work.

Today, he received . . .

A notice for jury duty.

For the week he is supposed to return to work.

Honestly folks, I couldn't make this stuff up.

Home Again

Vern is home from the hospital. We should know more about what the next step is after a few days when he has more tests and sees the doctor. We know there will be at least one more surgery in the next few weeks and some other issues to deal with in the future, but for now, we hope this is the beginning of the end of this particular problem and that he will be on his feet, back to work, and in full possession of his "happy" in the near future.


Once again, thank you to the same people as usual. Your support is so very much appreciated.


I could say more, but at the moment, I'm just happy to have my husband home and on what we hope is finally the road to recovery.

Ninety

Ninety.

Ninety degrees - the temperature for the past couple of days and the next several days. Too freaking hot for June if you ask me.

Ninety percent - the percent of stone that the doctor thinks he was able to remove today.

The surgery was several hours long, and as of this moment, I haven't gotten to see Vern since the surgery went so long and he was in recovery pretty late into the evening. However, I have spoken to him (if you could call it that - he was pretty drugged up and I doubt he'll remember) and also to the doctor. Vern will still be in the hospital for another day or two at least.

We won't know for sure what the status is until another CT scan is done of his kidney next week, but the doctor felt sure that the largest portion of the stone has been removed and that only a handful of stone remains. He said it was like nothing he has ever seen before.

At this point (at least the doctor's first impression before he sees the CT scan), this will probably end the attempts to remove the stone. He felt that Vern has been through enough (I believe he used the phrase that poor guy several times). There may be an effort to remove the remaining stone through less invasive measures later or he may just monitor it for a while. He's still going to need at least one more surgery to remove all of the hardware and tubes they had to leave in for safety reasons.

There are a few complications we are going to have to deal with, but since I don't know if Vern has been advised of those yet (and for sure he wasn't fully conscious if he was), I'll save those for another day.

But for now, we're going to call this one good news for a change.


Except, you know, for the part about the unending 90 degree days. That part sucks.

Round and Round We Go

Lately our life has been like riding a merry go round. To nowhere. Just a repeat of the same things over and over again.

It was a week of doctor visits, trips to the hospital, blood tests, and the ever increasing list of daily drugs.

Today we return to the hospital for yet another surgery. The surgery that they were actually supposed to complete on March 21. The surgery they were supposed to complete five surgeries ago.

But, here we are two and a half months later and ready to start the sixth surgery to remove what should have been, under normal circumstances, a simple procedure.

But it hasn't been. It has stumped even the best specialist in town. It has held up against the repeated efforts of the special radiologist called in to assist. It hasn't shattered under shock wave and it hasn't budged no matter how much pushing, poking, and prodding.

However, today is a new day. The safety wire is finally in place and hopefully has been secure for the past two weeks. Today is the day that they will finally start to remove the stone piece by piece.

At best, we are hoping for removal of 60% of the stone today. I don't even want to think about what the "at worst" might be. To try to remove any more than that could result in tearing Vern's kidney, which would be a far worse complication than anything so far so they have to proceed slowly and carefully.

Vern will be staying in the hospital for a few days and this is only the first of a series of surgeries to remove this stone.

But for now, we'll just hope that they can get this party started so that we can get off this merry go round. We are both sick of it.

Holy Hole

(Warning: This post does contain a photo involving a surgical incision. It is fairly mild on the scale of surgical photos, but just issuing a warning if you are the squeamish type and don't want to see it. I will post it last in the post and space down a little so that it doesn't catch anyone unexpectedly.)

Note: The opinions expressed below are solely those of the author. Her husband has no comment because he is a way nicer person than she is. Don't take it up with him if you feel guilty or want to defend yourself. Take it up with me. I dare you. This is MY opinion, stated on MY blog. You can agree, disagree, or make all the excuses you want, but it doesn't change the hurt that I feel over the situation.

I've waited to post the results of Vern's surgery for a couple of days, hoping that the family would call to see how he came through, but since they haven't called after this surgery or any of his other surgeries, I will share it with the family and friends who have expressed an interest in knowing. I'm sure something has come up with the rest of the family that they couldn't call to check on him - someone probably had a hangnail or something urgent like that and they just haven't been able to check in with him since this all began.

Oh, did that sound bitchy? Sorry. Good. It's not like we're asking them to come and finish our house or loan us money, but a little bit of moral support would be nice from the people you are supposed to be closest to.

There, now that I have that off my chest, on to the important stuff.

We finally had good news with this surgery. Finally. The one goal, the ONLY goal, of this surgery was to finally get the safety wire into his kidney, around the stone, and down into the ureter so that when they start to break the stone into large pieces they won't go into his ureter and damage it. The doctor just didn't feel like he could safely perform the surgery without it. For those that are keeping track, this was the fifth surgery and third attempt at getting this wire inserted. They just weren't able to do it the conventional way and had to finally resort to a series of larger tubes so that the doctor could work with a scope rather than with an x-ray.

Here's an x-ray that was taken during the surgery.

The larger tube is the nephrostomy tube that drains into an external bag from his left kidney. He's had that pretty much since this all started in March.

The smaller tube/wire is the safety wire that they have had so much trouble getting inserted because of the massive size of his stone. The stone is basically a cast of the inside of his kidney and fills all of the lobes and crevices too.

The circle shows you not only the main stone but also all of the smaller, more hidden stones. The doctor hopes to get about 60% of the large stone out with the next surgery (June 6) and then get the remainder out in one or two more surgeries a few weeks later. They have to proceed slowly with this so that they don't tear the kidney.

In the meantime, he's still off work (since mid-March) and will continue to be for a couple more months at least. He's not able to do anything, especially now since they have finally gotten the safety wire in place. He also isn't physically able to do anything that involves much more than breathing in and breathing out because of the wires, tubes, and bags. He's going to apply for disability coverage from work because his leave is almost over but he is not able to return to work for a while longer.

This has been much more of an ordeal than we ever imagined. It's getting harder and harder to cope physically and emotionally with all of the "side effects" - the pain, the repeated surgeries, and the lack of income. We do appreciate those family members (you know who you are) and friends (you also know who you are) that have given us such moral support during all of this. It will be over at some point, and we will remember the kindnesses and support offered during this time.

And finally, the photo that some of you scrolled right to the bottom to see (you sickos!), I had to change Vern's dressings on his surgery site so I snapped a photo so that he could see what was going on. The larger blue tube drains his kidney into an external bag. The smaller, light blue tube is the safety wire that runs through his kidney and down into the ureter. The black stitches are an attempt to hold it all into place so that we don't have to start all over again. The remaining tape is just securing it all to his leg so that it doesn't dangle - because nobody likes a dangle.

MISSING. Reward Offered.

We're off to the hospital again today for what is the 6th? 7th? 100th? attempt at this stone.

I've known Vern for almost 30 years, and I never thought I would hear him say what he said last night.

"I think I'm losing my happy."

Anyone who knows him knows one thing about him - he's terminally happy. He's so positive and happy that sometimes you want to punch him. But as far as I know, he has never even come close to losing his "happy."

Until now.

I'm sure it's not permanently lost. In fact, I'm pretty sure I know where it is hiding. It's right behind some huge, nasty kidney stone.

So we're off to the hospital again to have yet more tubes and more scopes and more surgery so that he can finally get his happy back.

It's Probably Not a Good Sign

when your doctor tells you that you have a black cloud hanging over you, is it?

Unfortunately, that's exactly what Vern's doctor told him about this whole kidney boulder situation. The stone is not only so large that his kidney has expanded around it, but it is also seriously impacted in his kidney. They just cannot seem to get a large enough access into the kidney without risk of other serious complications.

He's had a couple more procedures and is getting a series of larger nephrostomy tubes put into his kidney so that the doctor can eventually get a scope into his kidney and use that to manipulate his tools to remove the stone in large pieces. He's so full of drains, tubes, and holes that he looks like a salt shaker.

He's scheduled for more surgery next week and then again following week and will be an inpatient at least part of that time. At this point, I'm not sure whether to run a "Help Wanted" sign for the doctor or a "Most Wanted" sign for the stone.

I'd Love to Share Our Good News With You!

Unfortunately, we don't have any.

Vern's surgery today was, yet again, unsuccessful.

The doctor and the radiologist worked for hours to gain access into the kidney but were simply unable to because of the size of the stone. The stone is impacted so tightly in his kidney that there is absolutely no room for the insertion of the necessary tubes and tools to remove it.

So he is home again and waiting for the next effort. The current plan is two-fold. Vern is going to return to the hospital over the next two weeks for insertion of a series of tubes, each one larger than the last, until the entry into his kidney is large enough for the doctor to reach in with his fist and haul out the stone (okay, not really quite that large, but you get the idea.)

The other step is that the doctor is going to consult with the various university hospitals in Chicago to see if they have input into the situation and it is possible that we may have to transfer his care to one of those facilities.

Meanwhile, he has returned home with a series of tubes, bags, and drugs.

This sucks rocks. Literally.

(We would like to thank our friends and Vern's coworkers who have called to check on him and offer help. Your calls and support have meant a lot.)

Mission "Hurry Up and Wait"

Vern's surgery, which was scheduled for tomorrow, has been rescheduled to next week.

They didn't really say why, but I have my suspicions.

We're Expecting

. . . baby birds.

A momma bird picked our unfinished brick wall just outside the back door as a good place for her nest.

. . . beautiful weather.

The last couple of days have been gorgeous, and our flowers have started to bloom. Let's hope that spring is officially here and that winter has moved on.

. . . a call.

We're waiting for the doctor's office to call and schedule the next surgery for Vern. He will need at least two more surgeries and will probably be off work for at least two more months. They are bringing in a special radiologist to help with the placement of the nephrostomy tube into his kidney.

. . . the unexpected.

Because honestly, expecting the unexpected has been the way we have rolled lately. I wouldn't expect any less.

Rock of Ages

Believe it or not, this is the newer, slimmer version of the mega stone that Vern has in his left kidney. The doctor was able to break some of the top of it off in the procedure last week. We'll find out later today if it was enough for them to continue with the surgery to remove it safely.

As a comparison, he has a normal size kidney stone in his right kidney.



I'm willing to bet that Vern wins the next time the guys get together to play the "My ________ is bigger than your ________" game.

I'll Take Kidney Stone for $100,000 Please

Yes, I know that I'm mixing up my game show references, but what do you expect out of me at this time of the morning.

We're headed back to the hospital today for what is only the new "first step" in this whole process. They are hoping to break up the stone just a little bit to give them room to gain access into the kidney to remove it surgically.

The bills from the first surgery are rolling in. This is easily going to be a $100,000 stone before we are done. If we are talking $100,000 rocks, do you know how big of a diamond I could get for $100,000?

There's a Light at the End of the Tunnel

Too bad it was a train.

That's what it felt like yesterday when the doctors told me that even though Vern had virtually gone through the entire surgical procedure, they weren't able to actually make any progress at all. They weren't even able to get a guidewire or their instruments into his kidney because the stone is so large that it completely fills the entire kidney. There was absolutely no room. The doctor said it was as if someone had poured concrete into his kidney.

They sent him home, in a lot of pain and still with drainage tubes in his back. He had a rough night and a rough day so far today. They will remove the drainage tubes on Tuesday and then we will talk about other options to remove this stone. Unfortunately, it gets more complicated from here and will involve more surgery and definitely more time off of work to recover than originally anticipated.

You would think that with a stone this big, at least they would let us name it and bring it home.