The Sound of Silence

I wish I could say that my absence since February has been due to some amazing vacation or being super busy with fabulous projects, but unfortunately, that's not the case.

My dad's car accident turned out to be much worse than we originally thought. His broken neck turned into three separate breaks in his vertebra, and he was placed in a halo brace to stabilize it and keep him from being paralyzed. His broken hip turned out to be nonhealing, and he never was able to walk or bear weight on it again. The scrapes on his head turned out to be a severe brain injury that caused him to hallucinate and caused severe injury induced dementia.

He spent over a month in intensive care after the accident and struggled with pneumonia in addition to all of his injuries. We were fortunate to be able to move him to a hospital and nursing facility in our area, so we were able to spend every day with him.

After another bout with pneumonia and two run-ins with MRSA, I'm sad to have to say that he passed away on July 16, 2009, never realizing where he was or what happened to him. He was, however, surrounded by our family and by the loving staff at his skilled nursing facility who became like family.

I wish there were words to say how sad we all are at his loss, but there were also many memorable moments that we were able to share with him during those months, so we will cling to those rather than the sadness.

Like the time he called me a "little shit" because I wouldn't give in to some unreasonable request.

Or the time he told me that he needed more photos of Vern in his room (despite the fact there were already more photos of Vern than anyone else).

Or the time the nurse came to shave him and told him he was a hairy man, so he quickly told her that she was a hairy woman.

I also need to spend some time searching for the son I didn't know I had since dad not only insisted I have a son, but that his name is J.P. Morgan.

He spent his final months not remembering that he was injured in a car accident and was unable to move or walk, but instead insisted he was a farmer who needed to get his crops into the ground, or, even better, a gunslinger from one of the many westerns he enjoyed so much. That's not such a bad thing, if you think about it.

So yes, the past 6 months have been incredibly hard and incredibly sad, but it will be the good times that we will try to remember rather than the sad and the laughter rather than the tears.