This Year Sucks

Despite the fact that I declared that this year would not kick my ass, it actually appears that it may do exactly that.

I haven't been updating and may update only sporadically for the next several weeks. My father was critically injured in a freakish head on accident.



He was in line at a car wash and his car suddenly took off over several curbs, through two parking lots, over a ditch, and slammed into a metal sign post. He narrowly - and very fortunately - missed two buildings and managed to avoid pedestrians and other vehicles. Witnesses said that he was airborne and traveling at over 50 mph at the time of impact. We believe that either his foot became jammed or his accelerator pedal stuck in some manner and he was not able to brake.

He's currently in the hospital. He has a broken neck, a head injury, and a broken hip. Right now, he's has no memory of the accident and he's having some problems understanding where he is and some other basic brain functions, although we have started to see some improvement. While we don't believe that his injuries are going to be iife threatening, they are most definitely going to be life altering.


Once he is more stable, he will have to be moved into a skilled nursing/rehab facility. We're hoping to be able to arrange to have him moved into a facility near us so that he is not 2 1/2 hours away since I don't have any siblings or other family.


Consider my ass officially kicked.

Whip those WIPS into Shape

What is a WIP? It's a "work in progress."

Who doesn't have at least a couple WIPS laying around? Or a couple dozen in some cases.

Whether they are unfinished craft projects or unfinished household projects, those WIPS lead to a lot of mental clutter. They create a lot of guilty feelings ("I really should finish THAT before I start THIS") and they take a lot of effort trying to keep track of them and store them.

The truth is that very often, we are over them and will never finish them. They are just sitting there mocking us.

Hobbies are a great example of that. Most people who are engaged in hobbies have moved from one to another over a period of time.

For example, I used to do a lot of counted cross stitch. But let's be real - my post transplant, over 40 eyes just don't let me enjoy it that much anymore. Why cling to those unfinished projects? I would never finish them. Beyond being physically unable to finish them, I simply wasn't interested anymore. Once I really admitted that to myself, it was easy to let those projects go. The usable patterns and supplies were either sold at a garage sale, donated, or passed on to friends.

Now is the time to pull out all those WIPS and be honest with yourself. Look at each one and ask yourself if, given a completely free, no obligation weekend, would you work on completing it? If the answer is no, then give it up without guilt. You've simply moved beyond it.

Sometimes, it might be just one or two items in a favorite hobby that has lost your interest. Let them go. Life is too short to create something that isn't pleasurable.

Sometimes it's an entire hobby that no longer holds your interest. It can be discouraging when you think about the time you spent to learn it or the money you have spent in supplies, but the reality is that that time can never be recovered and the money is already spent. Admit to yourself that you are no longer interested in quilting, macrame, or fly tieing and pass that stuff on to someone who is still interested in it and can actually make use of those things rather than just storing them.

I'm going to go through my own WIPS and reevaluate them. For those that I choose to continue on with, I am going to place them in my planner and actually schedule time to work on them.

I challenge you to only keep the hobbies and projects in your life that you truly enjoy. Even more, I challenge you to organize your WIPS and plan their completion.

If You Think Dog Hair is Hard to Keep Up With

You ought to try living in a house where every room is practically being gutted and/or remodeled.


This is what my kitchen looked like about a month ago when Vern (and our ever helpful friend Jesse) installed the canned lighting. (That's insulation from the attic for the uninitiated who have never remodeled.)

Made me wish for no lights so that I didn't have to see that mess.

Foyer - Marking This One Done.

Yeah, not much of an improvement. The foyer still says that we are under construction and that the floors, walls, and ceiling are unfinished. I can't really do much about that until it actually IS time to finish that part of the room. But what it now also says is that I've chosen a color (and trim color) for the wall, the buffet is set up for guests to place their purse or keys, and the clutter is put away. (I promised I would keep this real, and "under construction" is the reality here, so I'm working with what I've got.)

In fact, our eventual plan for this area is to have something like this instead of the buffet.What I did to get closer to this goal is only utilize the buffet for items that will eventually go in this area. My handknits are neatly folded in the drawers of the buffet because I will eventually store them in the bench. I found a new home for all of the manuals and computer gear that we previously stored in the buffet because it will eventually need a new home anyway.

So, while it's not final, it is functional and headed in that direction. I'm considering this one "case closed."

Coming up - clearing away some emotional clutter. . .

Organized Clutter

One trap that I think a lot of people fall into is the mindset that if their stuff is "organized" then it is not clutter.


The junk drawer in my foyer buffet is a really good example of that.


Several years ago a good friend (who knows how I like to organize) gave me this handy dandy "junk drawer" organizer for my birthday. Over the years, it has accumulated quite a tidy little pile of "junk." Tidy. But junk nonetheless.

What I found when I really took the time to sort through it was the following:

• Five pencil sharpeners, including one I purchased just last week because I couldn't find the other ones.
• Two printer cartridges. For a printer we don't use anymore. (I'm still trying to convince Vern that the printer needs to go if we aren't using it anymore. He's determined to save it for some sort of printer emergency where our printer fails in the middle of the night and we aren't able to purchase a new printer at the 24 hour Wal-Mart. The cartridges, by the way, expired in 2006.)
• Matchbooks and boxed matches. We don't smoke and we always use those long neck lighters.
  
• A dried up glue stick. It probably dates back to when Ashley was in grade school.
  
• Two flashlights that aren't bright enough to guide us to anywhere in an emergency unless it only took 10 seconds to get there.
• Playing cards, which seems like a good idea except that we have about 15 more decks in our guest room. Not to mention, we don't allow anyone to play anything but Uno at our house. (just kidding)
  
• A single die (dice? die?)
• A lone button for heaven only knows what.
• A part for a Spirograph game that I haven't seen for years, but I know I will find the minute I throw it away.
• Bobby pins. I don't even know why I have bobby pins. I've never used them in my entire life.
  
• Three tiny sewing kits. I have an entire room devoted to sewing. Do I really need to have three useless sewing kits in my junk drawer?

That just scratches the surface of the "organized clutter" that I found in that drawer.

So take a good look around, even at the stuff that appears to be organized and ask yourself if you really need it.

Now, someone must have a use for a single coaster, a folding lint brush that isn't sticky anymore, and a bunch of rotted rubber bands, right?

Answering a Few Comments

Jean said:

What I would like my foyer to say is, "go away, we're not home" but what it actually says is "we have dogs who shed like the beasts they are and we are too lazy to consistently vaccuum it up."

Boy do I understand that. The "go away" part and the dog part. So in your honor, I present. . .
I was even all serious about this - I printed it on cardstock and LAMINATED it. Now that's serious.

I usually keep a crappy hand written sign on my door so that people don't disturb Vern while he's sleeping, but I decided it was time to class up the joint a little. Besides, it will drive our neighbor nuts because she won't know what the "new" sign says and will have to find a reason to come over and read it.

Truth is, I keep this on my door most of the time. I don't do drop ins.

Casii asked:

What about the things you don't want to keep, but feel guilty for tossing or donating for odd reasons? That's my problem!

Those things fall into that sentimental clutter category, especially the part about guilty sentimental value. Believe me when I say that the guilt that you feel getting rid of them is a brief and fleeting thing. The guilt that you feel every time you look at them and think about how you really don't want them is continuous until the items are gone. Pass them on and be done with the guilt. It's like ripping off a band aid.

Jean also said

But what do you do with the clutter that is not useful in any way at all, but your husband refuses to get rid of. My husband is a huge packrat. Huge. Don't get me started on the condition of my garage which stores all of my late FIL's stuff. (He was also a packrat.)

I'm going to assume you aren't ready to trade him in for a new model, so you'll have to work with what you've got!. Getting a spouse or partner on board can be hard sometimes so until you do, the best you can usually do is try to contain their stuff into certain areas so that it doesn't clutter up the rest of the house. Maybe once he sees the changes that you make through the house, he'll fall in line. It also sounds like the father-in-law's items could fall in that "sentimental" category and he's afraid to or unsure of how to part with it.

Thanks for the great comments, feedback, and questions!

Holy Cow Lemon Poppy Seed Cake

I shouldn't give away what is destined to become my "secret family recipe" cake that I serve to all guests from now until eternity. I also shouldn't spill the beans that this cake is not only low fat, but also really Weight Watchers friendly.

But you are catching me in a moment of luscious lemon poppy seed stupor, so I'm going to do it anyway.

Carla's Holy Cow Lemon Poppy Seed Cake

Ingredients:

• 1 box yellow cake mix
  
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup fat free sour cream
  
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 cup low fat vanilla yogurt (I think Dannon is the best)
• 1 cup Egg Beaters or egg substitute
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice
  
• 2 tablespoons poppy seeds

Throw it all together and mix for 3-4 minutes.

Pour into a bundt pan and bake at 350 degrees for about 40 minutes.

Remove from oven when a toothpick inserted in center comes clean. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes and then top with Holy Cow Lemon Glaze.

Holy Cow Lemon Glaze

• 1/2 cup powdered sugar
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  

Cut into 12 servings - each serving is 3 WW points, 130 calories, and 2 grams of fat.

And pure bliss.

Oh, why is it called "Holy Cow Lemon Poppy Seed Cake?"

Because "holy cow" is what Vern said when he took the first bite.

Get Out and Stay Out

Now that the hard part of figuring out what you want to keep is done, we can move on to getting the rest of that clutter out of the house.

There are several ways to do that. The most obvious are the things that are truly trash - the instruction book for the blender you don't own anymore, the broken crayons, the newspaper clipping for the cabbage diet. You know the stuff. Into the trash it goes and don't even look back.

However, there's always that stuff that still has some useful life to it. Just not useful in YOUR life. There are several ways to deal with those things.



The first one that a lot of people think of is to have a garage sale. No one is a bigger fan of garage sales than me. I love to go to them, and I've had my fair share of very successful sales. However, the garage sale we had last fall nearly killed me. I'm not convinced that they are the best way to get rid of stuff, but if you want to pack away your unwanted stuff for a garage sale, then go for it.

Another way to get rid of unwanted stuff is to list it for sale in your local newspaper or Craigslist. I've had really good luck selling things on Craigslist, but a lot depends on how large of an area you live in. We live pretty rurally, but I seem to get a lot of takers from the Chicago area. We even sold our camper on Craigslist. Newspaper classifieds are usually pretty inexpensive or even free too, so that's a good way to sell something locally.

You might have family or friends that can make use of the items - call them up and have them come and get them right away. Your old dishes could make your 20 year old niece who is just moving out on her own really happy.

I've been using Freecycle a lot lately. If you aren't familiar with Freecycle, it's basically a way to connect with people in your area through an email list and offer items to give away. You can even ask for items. The rules vary from location to location, but if you have something to give away, it's a great way to go.



Donating to charity is an age old way to pass your items on to others that may find them more useful. Many charities may even come to pick them up. Think outside the box when it comes to charities - churches may have a list of people in need, shelters always need things, children's homes, homes for disabled adults, etc.

If you donate items to charity, make sure you document it well and know exactly what you can use as the correct value to write off. It's actually really surprising how much you can write off for household items and clothing in good condition. Much more than you can make from a garage sale. You can download a free copy of 2007 Deduction Pro here. I've been using it for my deductions and it couldn't be easier.
When I donate items, I take a photo of the items to be donated and save them to my hard drive with the place donated and the date. That way, if I am audited, I not only have the itemized list from Deduction Pro and the receipt, but I also have photos to document the donation and the condition of the items.

The most important rule of getting items out of your house is that they must go immediately. Put those garage sale items in a box and put them in the garage, attic or basement and plan a date on your calendar NOW for that garage sale. If they are going to charity, put them in your car to take them the next time you go out or call the charity and schedule a pick up right away. If you are selling the items or giving them away, list them right away so that you aren't tempted to keep them.

Now go kick that stuff to the curb and feel the weight lifted from your shoulders!

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

Since my last post was at least a thousand words, I thought I would just post a few photos for inspiration while you decide what you want your foyer to say about you.

These all seem pretty easy to achieve without a lot of expense, yet they are bright, clean, and welcoming.










Wouldn't you just get a good feeling walking into any of these homes?

It's a Keeper!

Since we're just starting with cleaning and organizing, it's a good time to talk about what we are going to do with all that "stuff." These are rules that you should use anytime you are working on cleaning or organizing an area, so I'll refer to them often.

"Stuff" falls into only two categories:

1. Stuff I want to keep.

2. Stuff I don't want to keep.

See how easy that is?

You either want to keep it or you don't want to keep it. It's really that simple.

Today I'm going to deal with the stuff you want to keep. Or at least the stuff you think you want to keep. You may change your mind by the end of this post!!

Pick up every single item in the area where you are working and ask yourself "Is this something I want to keep or not?"

We keep things for a lot of reasons:

1. It is useful. If an item is useful AND you are using it, then it's easy to make the decision to keep it. If you aren't using it, ask yourself why? Can it be used in that area or another area? If you can't come up with a use for it, maybe it's not as useful as you really think it is.

2. It is valuable. Value is sort of a funny thing and means different things to different people. If you are keeping it solely because of the value, then that may not be a good enough reason. Remember, it only has real value if you are using it (useful value) or if you are willing to part with it (financial value.) Sometimes those things that we think have financial value aren't worth as much as we think they are. They may not even deserve a spot in our home.

Do I need to say the words "Beanie Babies" to anyone at this point?



If it has useful value, then take advantage of that and actually use it.

If it has financial value but not useful value, you may want to investigate the real value of it and cash in on it. It really doesn't hold any financial value until you get the cash out of it.

3. You love the item. That's a great reason to keep an item - and reason enough to not even give it another thought. We all need items we love in our home and if you don't have some in each area, then you may want to think about why. You should be able to look around your home and see photos or other items that you love and make you happy. I prefer to love things that don't require dusting though, but the choice is yours.

4. It has sentimental value. Here's where it gets a little sticky. It is something that belonged to your Great Aunt Gertrude so you say it has emotional value. But does it also fall into the category of being something you love?

Is the sentimental value that you place on something a positive value or a negative value? After my mom died, most of her things were passed on to me. While they all reminded me of my mom, most of them were an emotional burden. I felt like I NEEDED to care for them because they were hers. They weren't things that I really loved or that had I had any emotional attachment to other than the fact that they had once belonged to her. Once I separated those feelings out and passed those items on to someone else, I can't tell you the weight that was lifted off my shoulders. And it hasn't altered my memories of my mom at all. There have been some things that I have kept, but I have kept them because they are pleasing to me, not just because they belonged to my mom.

I should also put in a quick word about things that we keep because we feel they are "keepsakes." They aren't really all that special to you if you are willing to shove them in a box and put them in a musty basement or a dusty attic. If they are truly keepsakes, then you will find a place to honor them in your home.

My personal rule is that we each have one large box of "keepsake" items that we store neatly. Most of those things are childhood or school treasures, so we don't really add to the box much anymore, but we go through it regularly to make sure that those things are still really keepsakes in our heart. At the very least, determine a set amount of storage space that you are willing to devote to those things and stick with it.

Sometimes there are things we would like to preserve or keep but the items take up so much room. Trophies, awards, and school papers all fall into this category. Take pictures of those items and put them in a photo album or even frame them (how great would a photo of all of your trophies artfully arranged look?!) and then ditch the space sucking physical item itself. Kid's art and school papers are definitely fun to look back on and it's hard to decide what to keep and what to get rid of, so scan them in to preserve them. You could even reduce several pieces of artwork onto one piece of paper and just display that. There's just no need to keep the physical items when they take up so much valuable space in your home.

See. I told you it was simple. In order to keep it, you have to use it, love it, and it has to hold some sort of value to you.

Next time I'll deal with the things we don't want to keep . Hopefully, that pile is a little larger after today.

In Control - Task 1

My plan isn't to tackle each area all in one post or all in one day. Some days will simply be reflection about what we want an area of our home to say about us. Other tasks might be actual action tasks.

We all have busy lives - this is going to be broken down into very small bites. Most of us have lots of other stuff going on. Some areas are very large. Some require more thought. Some require action that might involve others. There's no deadline on completing any task, nor do you have to complete every task. Play along with what you want and disregard the rest.

On another note, I'm going to share some photos of our house - the good, the bad, and the ugly. And it's pretty ugly in some areas.

As you know if you have read my ramblings at all, we are currently doing a major remodel. Therefore, you are going to see some half done walls, half scraped ceilings, unfinished floors, and old wallboard. It's a work in progress. However, I've decided that I can't wait for it to be finished to make it "perfect," so I'm just going to have to work with what I've got until we are ready to move onto that part of the remodeling projects (sooner rather than later I hope as we want to have it all completed this calendar year).

When you see the pictures and the walls look like crap and the floor is unfinished and there are paint samples all over the wall, try to use your imagination. I promise to post "after" photos when they finally happen and in the meantime, I'll at least share with you what the goal is for the area.

So, let's get started then.

Probably the best start is right at the front door, so let's start with the foyer or the main entrance to your home.

The front entrance is the first glimpse that guests get of your home. Think about what you want it to tell them. You may want them to see that you are vibrant and active. Or maybe you want them to know that you are calm and serene.

Now, what does your entrance REALLY say to your guests?

Let's see what our foyer says about us.




Let's see. The floor is unfinished, as are the walls, and the ceiling. Those are on our "to do" list, so we can pass over those for right now. The floor will eventually be grouted, the walls are going to be a terracotta color, and the ceiling will have white beadboard on it. Can't really push them ahead in the plan, so we'll just have to send out the message that the house is under construction.

But what can I do something about? There are the snow boots that were left there last week when it snowed and I went out to get the mail. Those definitely need to go. We don't usually go through this door, so while I might have a spot for our guests' shoes, ours don't need to be there.

The buffet is a temporary solution using a piece of furniture we already had. Eventually, there will be a coat rack bench and mirror there so that we have a place to hang coats and store winter items. But for now, let's see what the buffet says.
Yeah, that's what I thought. It's shouting nice and loud "I'm a clutter catcher." The dogs obviously aren't wearing their collars - that's a bad thing. The notebooks and folders on top of the buffet were from some computer repairs that we recently made. We pulled out the information for the computers and didn't return them to their rightful home, probably because they don't have a rightful home.


The baskets were initially a nice decorative touch, but they also ended up being a catch-all spot. The large one has a bunch of hand knits in it. Stuff that took me hours and hours to knit. And it's wadded up in a basket at the front door. That's not the message I want to send out to guests or the value that I want to put on my time. I spent a lot of time on that stuff and I should value them a lot more.

Now I know what the foyer says about us. Other than the obvious "house under construction," it says that I'm too busy to make homes for things or to put them back in their right home (the boots and notebooks). It says that I don't value my property (the dogs don't have their Invisible Fence collars on) or my time (the hand knits wadded up in a basket).

What does your entryway say about your family? And what do you want it to say?

Think about it. Look at it with an objective eye (photos are a great way to see what others are seeing.) Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or links to your blogs. I'd love to hear and see what you are doing.

Now we know what we want to say and what we actually are saying. Next up, we'll work on getting there.

This Year Will NOT Kick My Ass

I have a lot of really good hopes for 2009. Of course, I had a lot of good hopes for 2008 too, but the Universe had other plans for us. But that was last year. This is a new year. And I am not going to let 2009 kick my ass.

The year has started out a little rocky. A good friend of ours was seriously injured by electrocution. We canceled our much anticipated January vacation to Phoenix, and just last night, Vern sprained his ankle.

Did I mention that I'm not going to let this year kick my ass?

Therefore, I'm taking control of this year in the only way I know how to.

I'm going to organize it.


In times of stress, some people pray. Some people fall into drugs or alcohol. Some people obsessively exercise or compulsively overeat.

I organize. It's the only way I can gain a little bit of control over uncontrollable situations.

I'm staring a year long organizational project with new ideas and new challenges every few days, weekly at the most. If you want to play along with me and gain a little bit of control over your life or home, follow along with me.

I welcome any suggestions or questions - I can't promise I can fix your problems, but I can help you put them in nice, neat little piles so they are easier to step over.

Here's Where You Realize What a Big Dork I Am

If you know me in person, you already know this. It will come as no surprise to you.

If you know me any other way, it might be a surprise. But I doubt it.

I'm purging and reorganizing dresser drawers today. I always like to look around online and see if there are any good ideas that I haven't yet discovered, and today I ran across this site.

One Minute Folding Videos by Linda Koopersmith, the Beverly Hills Organizer

I pretty much agree with all of her folding techniques, except I could teach Ms. Koopersmith a thing or two about folding pajamas. Linda, you fold sets together as one unit, not separately. That way, you have the pajama top and the pajama bottom all in one neat little package.


Hi, my name is Carla, and I'm known for my folding techniques.

And yes. I actually WAS googling "how to fold panties."

Which One of You Pissed Off Mother Nature?

Because I have a real bone to pick with you.


The weather around here has been terrible. It was only last week that we had a bad ice storm, fallen trees, and lost power. Then it turned cold. So cold that you couldn't catch a breath. Today, it is 60 degrees, but we have flooding, flash flood warnings, and tornado warnings.


Mother Nature's cycle is definitely screwed up. She may need some hormone therapy soon if it doesn't straighten out.


Speaking of therapy, I've been knitting. I know, big surprise there. But it's knitting for ME now. Me, me, me. After a couple of months of doing gift knitting, I'm back to having something on the needles that is just for me.


I picked up this yarn (Lion Brand Sock Ease) a month or so ago at Hobby Lobby when they opened. I love the cheery pink color. It's not super expensive sock yarn, but it has aloe in it and so far it is knitting up nicely, so it might be a good alternative to the gut wrenching feeling I get whenever I think about spending $40 on handpainted sock yarn. There are some nice colors and best of all, it only takes one skein for a pair of socks and it runs under $10.00 for a skein.





I'm making the Lacy Mock Cable Socks by ScarlettKnits and so far, I love the pattern. It's easy to memorize and is a nice break away from plain stockinette socks yet not too complicated.


And the best part? They are for me! Sorry, but it's the selfish, only child coming out. Sometimes I can't control her.

Holy Hole

Remember how last year I said "you can never have too many stud walls for the holidays."

When I said it, I never imagined that one full year later, I'd be saying the same thing. Why yes, that IS another hole in our wall. No, we don't park the Jeep in the house - that actually IS our garage.

We had to move the door to the garage over by a few feet to accommodate our new bathroom, so the first step was to remove the old door.

NOW it feels like the holdays around here.

Ice Ice Baby

Last week Illinois got a nasty pre-Christmas present in the form of a lot of snow and a ton of ice.

We mainly got ice - and lots of it - where we live. Unfortunately, there was a massive amount of damage to the trees in our yard. There has been even more damage since the pictures were taken because the ice has remained and the wind has picked up. Limbs are snapping like crazy. We are going to have a months worth of work when the weather clears just trying to clean it all up.

We actually fared better than some of our neighbors whose yards look like a tornado went through. We saw a lot of fence damage and some car damage, but no roof damage.





We also lost our power for a day which was pretty scary in the freezing cold temperatures. My dad lost his power for almost three days but refused to get a hotel or let me pick him up and bring him to our house.

I love a good storm, but I'm not so fond of the ones that overstay their welcome. And this one definitely has.

The Stockings Were Hung By the Chimney With Care

At someone else's house. Because they sure aren't at ours.

I don't know what happened. Christmas snuck up on me this year. Came right up behind me and literally blindsided me.

Not only do I not have any Christmas cards done (last year they were done in October), but I don't even have our tree up. And it's not looking good for either one.



I would love to show you some of the presents that I have finished and wrapped. Except they aren't wrapped. Or finished.





If you are expecting a card or a present from me, I wouldn't suggest that you look for it before Christmas. June maybe. But not Christmas.

Thai One On

You can lead a man to water, but you can't make him cook? Not true in this case. Vern has been getting into the swing of things in the kitchen. Or at least making an effort at it when I ask him to help.

We wanted to try something different. Vern has had Thai food before, but I never have. We found an easy recipe that seemed relatively healthy and easy, so we gave it a try.

Thai Chicken Salad Wrap - serves 4

Ingredients:

• 2 skinless, boneless chicken breasts
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 1 cup thinly sliced cabbage
• 2 green onions, cut into slivers
• 1 small carrot, shredded
• 2 tbsp. chopped cilantro (optional)
• 2 tbsp. chopped peanuts
• 4 large (10-inch) flour tortillas

Peanut dressing:

• 2 tbsp. peanut butter
• 2 tbsp. soy sauce
• 2 tbsp. lime juice
• 1 tbsp. brown sugar
• 1 tbsp. sesame oil
• 1 small clove garlic
  
• Dash hot red pepper flakes (optional)

Cooking Instructions

1. In a small saucepan, simmer the chicken breasts in the chicken broth over low heat for about 10 minutes or until cooked through. Remove from broth and let cool completely. (If you're using leftover grilled or roasted chicken, skip this step.)
2. When the chicken is cool, shred it, by hand, into long shreds — just pull the chicken apart along the grain of the meat. Place in a bowl. Add the cabbage, green onions, carrot and cilantro and toss to mix.
   
3. In a blender or food processor, blend together all the ingredients for the peanut dressing until smooth and creamy. Pour this mixture into the chicken salad and toss to coat.
4. Lay a tortilla on a plate and spoon 1/4 of the chicken mixture onto the middle of the tortilla. Sprinkle with some of the chopped peanuts, fold in the bottom and top, and then fold over the sides as tightly as possible. If you're eating immediately, cut the wrap diagonally in half and serve. If you're planning to eat it later, wrap securely in plastic wrap and refrigerate until serving time.

The only change I would make to this recipe as it was originally written would be to warm the tortillas in the microwave or oven before filling.

This recipe was a definite keeper.

Laundry Room Blues

Hang on to your hats because the excitement just never ends here. To be honest, I have piles and piles of laundry on my laundry room floor to be washed and piles and piles to be folded or put away. And I'm willing to do anything to avoid it.

Enough about my desperation. Have you ever had a problem with your washer and dryer and couldn't find the manuals? Or couldn't remember the special washing and drying instructions for that delicate piece of clothing or those curtains in the bedroom? How about stain removal? Wondering what will take out blood or wine? Or blood AND wine if you really had a bad night.

That's where having a laundry room notebook comes in handy.


I have one that I keep in my laundry room. I even made a fancy pants cover for it. Like I said, I'll go to great lengths to actually avoid doing real work.


Inside my notebook, I keep my washer and dryer instructions. I have an electronic washer that thinks it is smarter than me (it may well be, who knows.) Occasionally, it will start flashing numbers and letters at me for some shortcoming that it thinks I have and I have to use my manual to figure out the specific transgression that I am guilty of this time.


I also keep stain removal guides in my notebook. I never really use them since there is nothing on this earth that is going to take out the stains from Vern's work clothes and I gave up trying years ago, but just in case I ever actually care about a stain, that information is waiting and ready. You know, in case the Internet doesn't work or something.



I also keep other laundry tidbits in there. Like folding instructions for fitted sheets. Yes, there really is a better method than wadding them up in a ball and shoving them in the drawer. I said "better," not faster.



I have a section for each room and put the washing instructions for rugs, curtains, bedspreads, etc. in that area. I usually never get around to washing those things, but if I need to, I'll know how. (Frankly, it's easier to replace them.) There's also a section like this for clothing. I don't really have that much stuff that has special washing instructions but I might get invited to an inauguration or something someday and have a special outfit that I refuse to get dry cleaned anyway even though the instructions tell me to.



Last but not least is the section for all those buttons and pieces of yarn that come with every piece of clothing that I buy. They come in their own little bags, so they must be important. Once again, sewing buttons on and making repairs isn't really high on my list of things to do, but it at least has a shot of getting done if I can find a button to sew on. I use business card protector pages for these to keep them all neat and tidy. That's important because you don't want messy buttons. You've already balled up your sheets without folding them, don't let the buttons get the best of you.


No reason to actually do laundry when you can organize it.

My Apologies

My apologies to my husband's coworkers. As part of his new diet, I sent him to work with pinto beans, hard boiled eggs, lots of vegetables, and bean soup. I didn't do this with malice or forethought, but in the end, it's better you than me.

Be warned, next week he wants broccoli too.

If it's good enough for our President, it's good enough for him.

This is Not a Cooking Blog

I feel compelled to remind you, and myself, that this is not a cooking blog. I have some good recipes that I share from time to time and I may or may not include a picture, but I don't do the fancy stuff that Pioneer Woman does or even some of my online buddies like Tanya, Kami, and Suzanne. (By all means, check out their blogs if you want great cooking blogs!)

That said, you may wonder why all of a sudden there are several recipes showing up here. Long story short, it's because I've been trying several new recipes lately and I'm going to be trying several more in the near future.

This is all a result of Vern's recent issues with his vision. We've spent the past week going from one doctor to another and having one test followed by more tests. It turns out that he has a blood clot blocking an artery in his retina. It's similar to a stroke, but in his eye. There is no real treatment for it. It may or may not resolve. He may or may not lose vision in that eye.

What is for sure is that it is most likely caused by the continuing problem with his blood pressure. I'll spare you the details, but it's been a recent discovery in the past year and one that we have been working on, although half heartedly.

However, that's all in the past. We have been instructed to bring his blood pressure down and to bring it down now. As a result, we are working on a huge change in diet around here - including more healthy foods, less meat, and more vegetables, beans, and fruit.

Which is the long way of saying, here are a couple new recipes I tried tonight that were definite winners.



The first recipe is for crunchy baked chicken. Trust me - you'll want to try this one. So easy and so incredibly good. I could have eaten a whole flock of crunchy baked chickens.


Crunchy Baked Chicken

Makes 3 servings

2 oz Cornflakes, crushed
3 tsp sesame seeds
1.5 tsp Paprika
Salt & pepper
3 - 3 ounce thin chicken breasts
3 Tbsp skim milk
3 tsp margarine or butter

Combine first four ingredients and set aside. Dip chicken in skim milk; coat with cereal mixture. Place on nonstick pan and dot each with 1 tsp butter. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes or until done.

(Note - I was actually out of Corn Flakes today and I used Special K cereal instead. It was wonderful!)


These potato wedges are so simple, it is almost embarrassing, but whatever.


Oven Fries

Makes 3 servings

3 - 5 ounce potatoes
4 tsp olive oil
Garlic powder
Salt & pepper

Cut potatoes into quarters lengthwise. Brush with olive oil; sprinkle with garlic powder, salt, and pepper. Bake for 20 minutes at 450 degrees or until done.

(when I cooked these two together, I baked the potato wedges for about 10 minutes at 450 degrees and then turned the oven down to 400 degrees and added the chicken and cooked for the remaining 15 minutes.)

Hot Tamales and Tofu

Remember my Hot Tamale socks? I finished them a few weeks ago (finally) and didn't get around to posting a picture of them (not unlike how we haven't gotten around to grouting the kitchen floor either, so please try to ignore that.)



They are nothing special, but at least they are done.

Which brings me to the tofu. (wasn't that a smooth transition to a new subject??!!)


I found a really good recipe for a Peanut Butter spread made with tofu. WAIT! Don't run away. Stay with me here - I promise, it's worth it.


Peanut butter is so yummy but it is so high in calories that it's a diet wrecker. But it's so yummy. It also has a ton of fat. Did I mention that it's yummy?

This recipe is a perfect one if you've never tried tofu before or think you don't like tofu. It's great to spread on apples and celery.

Peanut Butter Dip


1/2 cup silken tofu (1/3 container)
1/2 cup peanut butter

Puree peanut butter with a blender or in food processor until smooth. Blend in the peanut butter until mixed well.

Use for apple dip, celery, etc.


Servings: 8
Serving size: 2 Tbsp.
Keeps 5-7 days in refrigerator

Brown is My Favorite Color

Do you know what is even better than Black Friday and Cyber Monday?
Yes, it's UPS Tuesday!

Oh, how I love getting mail, especially the kind that comes in a brown cardboard box and is delivered by an elf all dressed in brown arriving in a brown sleigh.

Eye, Yi, Yi.

You have to love an emergency, pre-Thanksgiving trip to the eye doctor. Or two.

Believe it or not, it's not ME this time. Nope, even worse. It's Vern. He's had a sudden loss of central vision, so we are headed off to our normal eye doctor for a quick check in the morning and then to a retina specialist as soon after as possible.

Anything but vision. It could be anything but his vision. We're already working at half capacity in that area as it is.

You Can't Scare Me

Ask anyone. I thrive on blood and gore. I grew up on gunslingers, mass murder, and horror.

I was reading about the Boston Strangler and Charles Manson when my peers were reading The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew.

If the TV is on at our house, it's most likely a crime show of some sort or, better yet, a live trial.

I've never seen a movie that left me trembling. Jaws? Bring it tuna breath. The Exorcist? What a bunch of babies.

The joke in our house is that I could kill my husband and no one would ever suspect me or find his body. And I wouldn't even break a sweat or a nail doing it.

However, I've met my match. So much so, that I'm not even sure I can stand to have the cover of this movie on the blog. (If I abandon the blog, you'll know why).

Last night I watched "The Exorcism of Emily Rose."




How I missed this movie when it was first released, I don't know. Why I didn't pass it up this time around, I'll always regret.

Holy crap (no pun intended), this movie is S-C-A-R-Y. Not in a Stephen King boogie man kind of way and not in a psychological thriller kind of a way, but scary in a way that will make you afraid to look out the window or look at a clock in the middle of the night.

I honestly could not get this movie out of my house fast enough.

And if I wake up again tonight at 3:00 AM, I am seriously out of here.

It Has Been One of Those Days

What has happened to customer service? To doing your job well? To actually getting things right?

It seems as though I have a full time job sometimes keeping up with the mistakes or issues that companies and service providers make. It is nothing new, but days like today really make me tear my hair out.

Today I had to bring out my inner "Bitch on Wheels." I not afraid to trot her out every once in a while.


Incident #1
You know all that crap that comes in the same envelope as your bill? That stuff that you just pitch in the trash when you pull out the bill for payment? Read it. Study it. Especially if it is in your credit card bill.

While this one could potentially be filed under "Buyer Beware," it really is one of those tricky things that companies pull hoping that the consumer won't notice. Fortunately, I just happened to notice the small print on my credit card bill that said "see enclosed notification for changes to your terms." Sure enough, when I fished it out from the bottom of the trash, there it was - a notice that our interest rate was going to more than double unless we "opted out" of the interest rate change. If you don't opt out - in writing - in the next two weeks, you are screwed.

It seems that credit cards are passing on their financial woes of extending credit to people who can't pay it back along to the people who can pay it back. Sure enough, when I called to find out WTF was going on, they advised me that it was "nothing personal" or even related to our account, which by the way we appreciate you paying so timely every month, but we are increasing rates for some of our customers.

I can, of course, opt out of it, but the second I use the card for any reason, then the rate automatically hops up close to 20%. No thanks.

In my mind, the credit card company loses on this one because not only do they now have to lock in my rate at the current low interest rate until I pay it off, but I also will no longer ever use the card again for any new charges.

Screw you AAA.

Incident #2
Remember my pretty new range top? The one that cost us a small fortune? The one that we have only had for a few months? It quit working.

I can live with that. We have a warranty on it. Things happen.

However, what I cannot live with is the fact that I have been waiting for 5 weeks to get it repaired. Not only that, when I called to find out WTF was going on, (are you seeing a pattern here?) it appears that my original service call and all resulting return calls were lost in space. No record of them at all. I paid $3,000 for a range top that worked for 6 months and they cannot even keep track of my phone calls? Now we start all over. Someone is coming out tomorrow to look at it, but I know that it is going to take a few more weeks to order parts, so I am back to square one.

Incident #3
I am convinced this is a case of "wait and see if they notice." We have had Verizon service for several years. One of the reasons we have had it is because we get a significant discount through Vern's employer.

I was straightening some files today and realized that somewhere around May our discount stopped. When I called to find out WTF was going on, it turns out that even though we are still entitled to the discount and it appears on our account, they just stopped applying it to our bills. No reason. Just stopped. It took several minutes to convince them that today was not the day that they wanted to tangle with me and that it would just be in their best interest to straighten it out and also give me a credit for the 5 months that they haven't been giving us the discount (which amounts to over one full month's bill). In the end, I got the credit and they increased our discount.

Seriously, this is not the week to screw with me. Vern is hiding in the shop all week. The dogs are begging him to take them with him. I suggest that if you see my name on your caller ID that you do not answer. Sometimes, I'm even sick of my own bitching.

Now, on to the next victim.

Someone Needs to Go on a Diet

I guess I've been lying to myself. Telling myself that he's not fat, he's just tall and muscular.

Unfortunately, our vet set me straight yesterday. Yes, that's right. My chocolate lab Jackson isn't fluffy. He's fat. He weighed in at a whopping 122 pounds. Now I should qualify that and say that he actually IS an extremely tall dog, but he still needs to lose about 10 pounds.

So, just in time for the holiday treats, Jackson is on a diet.

However, I'm not sure what the vet meant when she gently said "I know that when I have a few extra pounds, so does my dog."

Okay - I do know what she meant. I choose to ignore it.

How About a Little Dirty Dancing?

Yesterday Vern surprised me by planning a day in Chicago from start to finish (with some help from Ashley).

We drove into Midway and then took the El train into Chicago. That was a nice relaxing way to go, because really - who wants to drive in downtown Chicago.

After arriving, we walked a couple of blocks to Macy's. They had already started to decorate for Christmas, so it was fun to see the Christmas window displays.

We had dinner at the famous Walnut Room at Macy's.

Macy's had already put up the "Great Tree," a 45 foot Christmas tree that is right in the center of the Walnut Room. I'm glad they have to decorate it and not me.


The food was good and the service was excellent. Vern had the famous potpie and I had lobster bisque and Asiago crusted chicken breast.
We had dessert too. Unfortunately, there wasn't time for photos of that!

After dinner, we walked to the Cadillac Palace and saw the stage presentation of Dirty Dancing. The show was fantastic and the cast and sets were amazing.

Having spent all of my summers at resorts, Dirty Dancing has always brought back fond memories. Although I didn't find Johnny Castle at any of them, I did find a guy one summer that I'm kind of fond of.

Even if he can't dance.

Morning Wood

Once or twice a year, it happens like clockwork.



We get an early morning delivery of wood for our fireplace. We use our fireplace 24/7 in the cooler months, so one cord won't be enough to get us through the winter, but it will be enough to get a good start on it.

Always helpful, Lincoln carries the first piece in for the fire.


Morning wood. It's what makes the cold mornings bearable.

Seasonal Switcharoo

It's time once again for the purging of our closets and the seasonal switcharoo. We have very small closets and neither of us require a large wardrobe (although if you count the 74 grey t-shirts in Vern's closet, you might think he has some sort of a fetish for the color grey.)

Vern's clothes are always on black hangers and my clothes are always on white hangers. At least once a year we pull everything from the closet and purge through it. Anything that hasn't been worn in the past few months gets donated or tossed with only a few exceptions. This is the time that I have to fight with Vern to keep the two pair of decent Dockers and button down shirts that he owns on the slim chance that we actually will go somewhere that requires something nicer than a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt.

It's also the time that we switch out the hangers, temporarily hanging my clothes on the black hangers and Vern's on the white hangers. Then when the clothes are worn and laundered, they are hung on the "right" colors and it's easy to tell what hasn't been worn in the next few months and needs to find a new home.

Not that I'm anal or anything.

A Guilt Trip for Halloween

We don't usually get a lot of trick or treaters, but I always like to give those that do come here a nice treat so they won't egg our house because I'm a nice person.

However, this year, we aren't going to be around for Halloween. I felt bad about it because I remember how disappointing it was to see a house where there was no porch light.

My guilt got the best of me Because I'm a nice person, I picked up several giant sized candy bars and made wrappers for them so that I could deliver them early to the neighborhood kids so they won't egg our house so they wouldn't waste a trip to our house.



The wrappers were easy to make - I just downloaded a couple of Halloween clip art images, added our names, printed them on an 8.5" x 11" sheet of paper, trimmed to the right size for the wrapper, and slipped them over the candy bar.

The hard part was not eating the candy before I delivered them.

You Just Don't Understand

I know it's pathetic, but unless you live somewhere where there is virtually no shopping, you don't know how exciting something like this can be.



That's right. Three new stores opened this week in our area. THREE! That's huge for this wasteland that I refer to as shopper's hell.


And even better than three new stores opening is that one of them is Hobby Lobby. But that's not the good part. The good part is that it is . . . . drumroll please . . . . right next to Menards.


I may never have to suffer through the plumbing department at Menards again.

I'm a Design Star

Okay, so I'm not really a Design Star. I just faked it to get your attention. But I can pretend to be a Design Star in my own house.

We had a difficult wall in our family room. It was long and blank, but because of the narrow path leading to our sun room, it's not a wall that really can have furniture against it.

My original intention was to have a photo wall, but lately, I'm really hating that look. Okay, you caught me. That's another lie. I'm lazy and I don't want to dust all those freaking photo frames.

So the truth (really this time!) is that I stole an idea straight from last season's Design Star winner, Jennifer Bertrand, and decided to paint the wall with a graphic leaf design.

I first drew the design on the wall in chalk so that I could make any adjustments that I wanted before I started painting.


Then I painted the design in the next color down from our wall color so that it is somewhat monochromatic. I also plan on using this color (the color of the leaves) in another adjoining room, so this will tie it all in together.

I'm actually really happy with the way it turned out. It gives some interest to the wall, but doesn't take up any physical space.

And it doesn't have to be dusted.

Up on the Rooftop

No, it wasn't Santa Claus coming for an early trip down the chimney.

It was the chimney sweep.

That's not entirely true either. It was the "Chimney Sweep formerly known as my husband."

He didn't even have to use a level!

Meet Sully

The labs have a new best friend. His name is Sully. He is a Rhodesian Ridgeback mix that lives in our area.

Sully is apparently quite the escape artist. He loves to run away from his home and come to play with the labs. He's really a great dog, and we don't mind him coming to play with the dogs at all.

I just wish they had checked with me before they taught him to use the dog door. I got quite the surprise when I got out of the shower and came face to face with Sully yesterday.



If I had pants on at the time, I'm sure I would have wet them.

Double, Double, Toilet Trouble

Ah yes, it is once again Fall. That lovely season that brings crisp, cool weather, changing leaves, and trick or treaters. However, it appears that it also brings an October Surprise for us each year in the form of problems with our septic and well.

It has been one year almost to the day of "The Great Well Disaster of 2007."

What a crappy way to end an already crappy year.

My Own Private Victory

I don't really talk a lot about this, so if you are a casual reader of this blog, you wouldn't know this about me. And even if you are a close friend, you may not know it about me. But I have a fear of driving.

I haven't always had it, although I've never been a big fan of being behind the wheel, but I managed okay until I started to lose my vision. There were quite a few times that the day would start out fine and I would get to work, but then by the end of the day, it became difficult to get home. Finally, I started working from home and that pretty much solved the driving issue. For several years, I couldn't legally drive.

Unfortunately, during that time, we also had the car accident, which sort of affected me as both a passenger and a driver. Since I couldn't drive for a couple of years after that, it was sort of a "couldn't get back on the horse" kind of thing. By the time I could drive again legally, it had been long enough to really make me nervous to get behind the wheel.

I've done pretty well around town or going places that I am familiar with. But a drive of more than 20 miles would freak me out and I would find a way to avoid it.

I've recently come to the realization that I can't live my life that way. I want to be one of those adventurous types who can hop in the car and go for a roadtrip with my girlfriends on a moment's notice. (Okay, I'll never be a spur of the moment kind of person, but just go with me on it, okay?)

My dad has had some recent health issues that have made me realize I need to visit him more often and we can't always find time in our schedule to devote an entire day to making the drive to see him. I do, however, have lots of time while Vern is working.

So, armed with my new GPS (because I have the navigation and directional skills of a blind person in a paper bag), I threw the dogs in the car (they are as close to girlfriends as I could manage today), and I set off to drive a few hours each way to see my dad.

I'm happy to report that I didn't get lost once, I didn't have a panic attack, and most importantly, I didn't die in a fiery crash.

I know you are all relieved.

Happy Anniversary

It is hard to believe but it has been four years today since my first transplant. Hard to believe because the time has both flown by and also seemed to stretch forever at the same time.

I try to remind myself every day to take good care of and make good use of the gift that a grieving family so selflessly gave. And today I stop for a moment to thank them as they also celebrate an anniversary that is not such a happy one.

If you haven't already talked to your family about organ and tissue donation, please do so and let them know your feelings as well as find out their feelings on the subject.

I don't know if my corneas came from a man or woman, young or old, rich or poor. But I do know that their family had to make a difficult decision at a difficult time and for that, I am grateful.

Finally Moving in the Right Direction

Progress has once again started on the house after the long hiatus during Vern's kidney boulder episode. Vern's parents came from Minnesota to stay with us for a week, and Vern and his dad worked on several different projects.

One of those projects was our range hood.



It's a good thing they were here because by the time that we got the hood installed, it had taken the effort of all four of us!

But I think the effort was worth it.



Oh, and I finally figured out where Vern got his talent for using a level. (What you can't see in the photo is that they BOTH have a level in their hands.)

Knock Knock

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Alpaca!
Alpaca who?
Alpaca picnic lunch!

Recently I went two two local alpaca farms for National Alpaca Day, an annual event where alpaca farms across the United States open their gates to the public to get a close-up experience of these fascinating creatures. I had no idea that we had any alpaca farms nearby, let alone two!


I learned so much about these darling creatures. For example, did you know that they always have a guard llama with them? Alpacas are such gentle creatures, but a llama is more aggressive and will guard them. (In case you don't know your alpaca from your llama, the llama is the rather ugly grey girl with the face like a horse.)

Don't you just want to grab a handful of fluff and nuzzle your face right into them? Unfortunately, they are very shy and don't like much human contact. It's just unfair that something that cute can't be cuddled.

My main reason for going was to see if they had any alpaca yarn for sale. And boy did they! They had enough to get me into trouble for a long time.

The yarn came from the very alpacas pictured above. I think that part of it makes it so neat. I can't even put into words how soft this stuff is.

This one is my favorite.

It is a mixture that comes from mother and daughter alpacas. See the mix of brown and black? It reminds me of my labs.

If you get a chance to visit an alpaca farm, "paca picnic lunch" and do it! But leave some yarn for me.

The Garage Sale to End All Garage Sales

Really. I mean it this time.

I will NEVER, EVER have another garage sale. This one almost literally killed me.

Yes, we made over $1,000. Yes, we got rid of a lot of junk (and the rest was donated because I'm not sure if I mentioned it but I'll never, ever have another garage sale.) And yes, it was only one and a half days out of our lives.

However, I don't know if I'm just older, more out of shape, or this garage sale was evil to its very core, but it nearly did both Vern and I in. I don't even want to drive by a garage sale. I don't want to see a garage sale sign. I don't even want to open the newspaper for fear of seeing an ad for a garage sale.

Even worse than the garage sale (I know! How could it be worse??!!) is that now there is the very likely possibility that we are not only known as the heirs to the Uno fortune but we are also known as the neighborhood pervs.

Long story short: we sold a sex toy to one of the neighborhood children.

Not just any child, but the grandchild of the neighborhood gossips. The ones that already told everyone that my family invented Uno. The one that "just happened" to be at the emergency room a few weeks ago when I tried to sneak in and out without anyone knowing. Yes, that neighbor.

What? You need the long story on this one? I'd like to say that it's not as bad as it seems, but it is.

Several years ago, Vern received a gag gift of a "Studmaster" exerciser.


It is an exerciser for the, errrr, male organ. After several years of kicking this thing around (NO HE DIDN'T USE IT), we decided to just throw it in our garage sale and rid ourselves of this. I've seen lots of gag gifts at garage sales (what kind of people do I hang around with??). I put it on an appropriately adult height shelf and watched it like a hawk.

Several adults looked at it and giggled but everyone left it on the shelf (except for our flirty neighbor who just had to bring it over and ask if DH had used it. I told her he used it while holding a level.).

Then it happened. A little boy handed me a quarter. I looked down to see what the little guy was buying with his allowance and low and behold, he had the Studmaster in his hand.

Seriously, what could I do? I don't know what I could have done, but what I did was grab it out of his hand, shove it in a bag and quickly moved on.

I'll let his mom handle this one. I'm busy dodging the drive by looky-loos that have suddenly popped up to see what kind of people live in this house.

Despite Reports to the Contrary. . .

I am not in jail.

Things around here have just been super busy. You can expect several updates in the next few days. It has definitely been hopping around here and I need to get back into the daily habit of blogging.

So, despite what my friends (you know who you are) might have told you, I am not in jail. Although there was that incident at our garage sale . . . (stay tuned)

All This Peter Is Just Too Much

That's not something that most husbands hear on a daily basis. And yet, it's what I complained about all day long today.

Recently, Vern has been reading Peter Walsh's book, "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Big?" which explores the connection between clutter and weight control.

I've been hearing "Peter says this" and "Peter recommends that" for days now regarding the kitchen. Peter apparently thinks we need to clean out our refrigerator and pantry and get rid of any excess food that we aren't going to use this week.

While I wouldn't say we are going THAT far, we did decide to work together on cleaning out both of our refrigerators and our pantry shelves to rid them of outdated food or food that we simply know we aren't interested in anymore.

Don't let the photos fool you. We DID work together on this; Vern didn't do ALL the work.

Now, if Peter would just come finish my kitchen, I'd be all over him.

Hope Appears Lost. Send Cocktails.

I ran across this awesome site (http://wordle.net/) that creates word clouds from speeches, text, poetry, and websites. The larger the word in your cloud, the more often it appears in the text that you submitted.

I submitted my blog, and this is what it came up with.

So let's consider this for a minute. What the heck is going on with my blogging and thought process that the word "feet" is the most prominent word on my entire blog? Followed quickly by cocktail, power, and fat.

Then there are the words that aren't so prominent but make me wonder what kind of people are finding my blog through Google searches. Words like whips, cheating, gulped, unstable, and nastiness.

Worse yet are the sentences that can be formed from these words:

• Definitely making another drink.
• Unstable toilet might eventually make nastiness.
• Disclaimer: Fat makes wrinkles look scary.
• Pretty hot nurses enjoy curing.
• Hope appears lost. Send cocktails.

It's like a bad version of those refrigerator magnet words.

The Answer, My Friend, Is Blowing in the Wind

The answer might be blowing in the wind, but I hate it when my hair is.

The air conditioning in my Jeep isn't working right now, so I've been driving with the windows down. Unfortunately, my shoulder length hair whips around making it virtually impossible to drive. Not only is it a hazard, I resemble Phyllis Diller once I arrive to my destination.

Lately I've resorted to wearing a baseball cap while driving, which doesn't do much for my feminine side, even if it is pink.

I love the look of crocheted caps, but since I don't crochet very well (and feel like I'm cheating on knitting when I do crochet), my hope of having a cute, open weave summer cap was slim.

However, I finally found a knitted version that I was able to modify and VOILA! I present to you my "No More Blowing in the Wind" summer cap.




It's made from some leftover Egyptian cotton, but I like it so much that I'm making another one from some pink ribbon.

So now I have to find another excuse when I arrive at my destination looking like a hot mess.

Powerless

Last night, once again, we lost power for no apparent reason. Who knows why, but the electricity situation is more unstable here than anywhere I've ever lived.

We tried to make the most of the situation; however, it's sort of hard to make the most of it being pitch black, no water, and no toilets (because we are on a well and when there is no power, there is no water).

We spent a couple of hours sitting on the porch talking and enjoying a few drinks. Eventually, we decided to give it up and just go to bed.

At which time the lights immediately came back on.

It appears that the power company really DOES have a sense of humor.

Pedi Cure

Disclaimer: The above photo is not of my feet. Although the nail color is the same, unfortunately the actual photo of my feet seems to indicate that I not only have fat toes, but that my feet also have wrinkles. I may have to take my camera in for service because I'm SURE that my toes aren't fat and my feet don't have wrinkles in real life.

Ahhhhh. Is there anything better than a pedicure? Not for me. I've been putting it off all year for one reason or another. In fact, I've put it off for a couple of years without realizing it.

I'm definitely going to be making it more of a priority in the future because it definitely has a way of curing whatever ails me.

Except apparently for fat toes and wrinkly feet.

How About a Cocktail?

My tip for today is as follows. . .

If someone hands you a green and foamy drink and says it's a GI cocktail, just say no.

This lesson is brought to you by my trip to the emergency room last night for a scary, but fortunately not serious, although yet to be diagnosed medical issue.

I can only plead ignorance, however, on the GI cocktail. So enthralled with the offer of a cocktail at the hospital, I grabbed it and gulped without fully hearing the nurse's words "This is going to taste really bad."

Just as those words were registering, so was the idea that with anything labeled GI, it's a pretty sure bet that something is probably going in one end or coming out the other within a matter of minutes.

Luckily, neither turned out to be true and it was merely to rule out any gastro problems as a source of my pain. However, the vision - and taste - of that green and bubbling nastiness will stay with me for quite some time.

And one final bonus tip for the day - keep your legs shaved because you never know when an emergency trip to the hospital will involve care by Nurse Aaron and Dr. Hottie.

Island Bound

Lately we've been doing a lot of talking about the possibility of moving out of the country to an island in the Caribbean. It's all talk at this point and wouldn't be for many, many years down the road, but it still makes us think what it is about that lifestyle that we crave.

Other than the obvious beautiful weather and scenery, it's the laid back lifestyle that appeals to us. Entire days of enjoying life and doing whatever our mood moves us to do that day.

That leads to the question of why we can't create that life for ourselves here and now.

Of course, we can't recreate the beautiful weather. Illinois weather being what it is, describing it as beautiful at any time of the year would be a huge lie.

And the scenery isn't much to look at unless you like miles and miles of corn.

However, there really isn't any reason that we can't spend days doing whatever our mood drives us to do.

Vern's work schedule is such that he has several days in a row at home between his work shifts, so that's not the obstacle that it is for most people. We have flight benefits and can fly almost anywhere we would want to fly, and we both love driving trips, so the ability to travel isn't the issue. What is the issue is getting tied down with the house.

Realistically though, it's not the house itself. It's the stuff that is in the house. So much to take care of, so much to maintain, and so much to deal with. Frankly, we spend so much time dealing with the stuff of life, that it sucks the enjoyment out of life itself.

Our garage sale has been pushed back to mid September. Vern's work schedule for the next few weeks is going to be hectic, and we are just doing what it takes for him to get through that.

The positive of that is that it gives me time to once again reevaluate the things we have. What do we really treasure and what is merely "stuff" that is taking up space, collecting dust, and creating work.

So, as I work through each room in our house over the next few weeks while Vern is at work, I intend to put on my favorite sundress, throw a little Bob Marley in the CD player, make myself an icy margarita and pretend that I'm clearing things out so that we can live that island style life that we want so much.

Minus the beautiful weather and scenery.

Garage for Sale

Not really, but if the price was right, it probably could be.

Our long needed garage sale is approaching in a couple of weeks. We started setting up and unpacking boxes. It will take several days of set up, cleaning, and pricing, and I really don't want to do it all at the last minute in case the weather turns hot as it usually does this time of year.

For now, though, everything is a disorganized mess. I have no idea where all of this junk came from.



On a related note, we snagged three Ethan Allen chairs and a wooden office chair that were sitting at our neighbor's curb. Vern will probably use them in his shop.

Did I already mention that I'm not sure where all of our junk comes from?

Our Visit to Dr. Funsucker

Remember how I mentioned that one of Vern's recent tests had come back with some abnormal results?

After our meeting with the specialist this week, it seems that there was not one abnormal result, but FOUR. They all point to a high probability of kidney stones.

This was, of course, news to us. I'm sure glad we went through four months of hell only to have someone tell us that he has a high likelihood of forming kidney stones. Because we couldn't have figured that one out on our own.

Anyway, back to the fun part. Here's what Dr. Funsucker told Vern.





No soda. No chocolate. No meat. No other women.


Okay, I'm joking about the "other women" part. I paid the doctor to tell him that.

Another Completed Project

Pattern: Waterlily Top by Katy Ryan (Interweave Knits, Spring 2006)
Yarn: Ornaghi Filati Bazar Le Fantasie - Egyptian Cotton


Of all the projects I've finished so far in my (very short) knitting life, this is by far my favorite. It fits perfectly, the yarn was a dream to knit with, and best of all it took less than a week from start to finish.

I'll definitely make this one again next summer, probably in a plain color.

My only complaint is that like most other tops that are in style recently, it treats everyone to a peep show unless I wear a tank top underneath.

Mission Accomplished!

I am proud to report that the desk, filing cabinet, and hutch are fully assembled and ready to be put into use. They don't even wobble a little bit.

Just one question.


Do you think it's bad that I hid the leftover parts?

It Just Keeps Getting Better

I knew it was too good to be true. I knew that this whole kidney stone business wasn't over.

Last week we got the news that one of Vern's tests had come back with abnormal results so they were referring him to a specialist. We have an appointment next week to deal with that issue.

If that wasn't bad enough, yesterday Vern got a call from his doctor who wants him to go back to the hospital for yet ANOTHER x-ray. The last CT scan showed a dense area from his kidney out through his back, roughly following the path of where the nephrostomy tube had been. This is the tube that they had so much trouble getting placed because of the size of his stone. And this is also the tube that, once in, was left in place for a couple of months.

Now it seems that there is an issue related to that tube. The area of denseness could simply be calcification because of the length of time that the tube was left in place. However, it could also be a trail of stone fragments that dumped out of the tube when it was removed. Ironically, it could also be part of the tube left behind.

I cannot believe that I am writing about this damn stone again. It's time to move the book about this whole ordeal from the "medical mystery" to the "medical horror" section of my bookshelf.

I Have a Point To Prove

You've seen my desk. Or rather the trashed out buffet table that is acting as my temporary desk.

It's going to be a good long time before the office is finished. It's just not as large of a priority as, oh say, the kitchen. Or the bathroom.

In the meantime though, I still have to try to function in my faux office on my faux desk.

Yesterday we picked up a desk, hutch, and file cabinet on super clearance at Office Max. They don't match but for $20, who cares. Not me. It's better than a buffet table with paint all over it. And it's just "temporary," which in my world means "probably will be that way until we move to a new house."

But. . .

do you know how many parts these types of things have? Me either. But it has to be at least twenty kajillion bits and pieces and parts.

And silly me - who has never assembled anything more complicated than putting a role of toilet paper on the roller - decided that I was going to prove I was "woman hear me roar" and could assemble these things while Vern is at work this weekend.

There are pieces all over, I've managed to slice open my finger, and my hands have blisters shaped like a screwdriver.

But it's too late to back out now. I have a point to prove. I will figure this out.

Even if in the end, it's probably going to look like something the Unabomber would have in his shack.

Lost in a Sea of Desperation

Also known as the Driver's License office.

It's a ritual of the residents of Illinois. Drag yourself into the closest Driver's License renewal facility, stand in line for 20 minutes just to receive a number so that you can sit among the unwashed for another 2 hours. All so that you can hand over $10 and get a new driver's license. Rinse and repeat every 4 years.

I'm happy to report that I'm all set for another 4 years.

However, I do feel sorry for the guy who must have been the temporary worker operating the camera today. He is SO going to get fired when they find out that he was actually taking photos that do not look like mugshots.

If It Wasn't Monday

I would swear it was Friday. The 13th.

Let's chalk this one up to a very bad, horrible, no good day.

Lincoln, our black lab who is never sick, has a large lump under his neck that needed to be biopsied by the vet.

We had a bad storm and our internet was out for 12 hours.

My computer got a virus, couldn't be recovered, and I lost almost 3 years - yes I said YEARS - of work, photos, files, and documents. (So if you don't get a Christmas card this year, it's because I don't have your address.) Of course, "back up computer" was on my list of things to do. The list is somewhere on my desk.

Vern's doctor called and some of his test results came back abnormally so they are referring him to yet another specialist. I guess it's time for a new chapter in the Kidney Stone Drama series.

If you don't hear from us, it's because we are hiding under the covers. And not in a good way.

Edited to add: You want to know how crappy of a Monday it is? It was such a bad Monday, that it actually happened on Tuesday. Somehow, somewhere, I lost a day. That's okay. The universe can keep it because I'm sure it was shitty too.

A Few Finished Projects

Yes, I actually followed through on my goal for July of finishing at least four projects.

Drifters Shawl

Yarn - Eros Drifters (3 skeins)
Pattern: Basic triangular pattern (k1, m1, k to end)

Gosh I hated this project. It was destined to be a cool summer scarf when I purchased the yarn but after frogging it about 15 times (and spending an equal amount of time detangling the f-ing yarn), it ended up as a simple triangular shawl. Surprisingly, I don't hate it now that it's done. I don't exactly have a time or place to wear it, but at least if that time or place ever comes up, I don't hate it.

Bonsai Tunic

Yarn: Lion Brand Cotton Ease
Pattern: from Interweave Knitting

My first constructed project. My first chart. My first completed sweater.

For so many firsts, I'm actually very happy with this tunic. The fit is almost perfect. There are some small areas where my knitting could have been improved, but overall, it's a completely wearable project and I'm very happy with how it turned out.

Clapotis

Yarn: Southwest Trading Company Soy Silk

Pattern: from Knitty.com

I don't know if there are any knitters out there who haven't made Clapotis or at least plan to make it. It was an interesting knit and one that can be worn a lot of different ways.

Dean Street caps

Yarn: Acrylic (for washability)

Love, love, love this pattern. It looks so much harder than it is. These hats may or may not be Christmas gifts for family members who may or may not read this blog.

Mission accomplished - finished at least four projects during the month of July.

Let's not discuss the progress on the desk though - okay?

Can I Get An "Awww"

Remember this cabinet over our kitchen sink?

I found a picture on my camera that Vern had taken before he installed the trim, light, and valance.

I'm pretty sure I don't deserve him.

Rock On

Tonight we watched Shrek the 3rd.



We're rocking now. . .

In our rocking chairs apparently.

I Concede

con·cede \kən-ˈsēd\

1. To acknowledge, often reluctantly, as being true, just, or proper.

Remember how I made fun of the yarn bra?

I take it all back.

It's probably the single best knitting related purchase I've ever made.

I was wrong. Vern was right.


And as his reward, I'm knitting him these

Knit Tits.

Always perky and no bra needed.

I've Been Punk'd

Every morning the dogs and I go out and check for ripe tomatoes. It's the highlight of their day. Hey, they are dogs. What else do they have to do but sleep, eat, poop, and fetch the paper.

I think they can either see the ripe tomatoes or smell them because they always sniff them right out.

This morning we did our little morning routine and there are a few tomatoes that are at that "not quite ripe enough" stage.

A few hours later I looked out my kitchen window, and I see this.

(Try to imagine it a little bit further away and through a dirty screen and window!)

How did I miss two great big ripe tomatoes? And on my cherry tomato plant no less!

When I actually got outside and looked a little closer, I see this:

I've been punk'd. By a dog.

A Very Weird Shopping Trip to the Knitting Store

Did I walk away with fantastic sock yarn? No.

Did I walk away with the latest and greatest pattern book? No again.

I walked away with the following:


1) One skein of Eros Drifters yarn.

I hate this yarn with the passion of a thousand fires. However, I'm not about to give up on this project. About two months ago, I bought 2 skeins to make a scarf. Didn't like the scarf. I must have tried 10 different scarf patterns with this horrid yarn. I finally settled on making a very loose and airy shawl. Of course, you know what is next. That's right, not enough yarn. So back to the store I go to get more. Of a yarn I despise. All because I vowed to finish projects this month.

2) A package of Yarn Bras.

Vern picked them out. I think he saw the word "bra" and just figured that it was as close to porn as he was going to get today. I didn't even know my yarn needed a bra.

3) Pattern Tamers.

What, you ask, are Pattern Tamers? They are magnets with ribbon on them that cost $15. Yes, really. Ribbon glued onto magnets. $15.

It was my consolation prize for taking my husband into the yarn store with me.

How About a Midnight Moon Over My Hammy?

There better be a fat tip in this for me.

If you know what I mean.

You're Not Getting Older

You're getting better.

Vern's 18th birthday with a cake that my mom made for him (1980)

Believe it or not, he still has the little snowmobiles from this cake!

Me, my mom, and the cake.

(Happy Birthday sweetheart - I cut your ex-wife out of the picture*)

*Note to Vern's family - it could be worse.

He could still be married to HER.

B.L.T. Y.U.M.

My first BLT of the year.

Toasted honey wheat bread

Hellmann's mayonnaise (of course)

Crispy bacon

and best of all . . .

The first tomatoes from my upside down garden.

I hope it is the first of many this summer.

Booya!

You've already met JoAnn.




And Sally and Crystal have made appearances even if they haven't been formally introduced.



But you haven't met Graduation Girl. Graduation Girl was a gift to Ashley for her college graduation. We're not sure if she was a serious gift or a joke. But either way, she has become our family white elephant. You don't want to end up with Graduation Girl at your house.


Sometimes when Ashley visits, she hides Graduation Girl for us to find. Sometimes we find her before Ashley leaves and hide her back in Ashley's luggage or car. Usually we are stuck with her for what seems like eternity.


A couple of weeks ago Ashley came for a visit. A few days after she left, we found Graduation Girl, neatly hidden away in my laundry room.


This week Ashley is on vacation and renting a hidden little cabin in Wisconsin.


Graduation Girl will be waiting for her in the cabin to greet her when she gets there!

Run OJ Run

Guess who ended up on a jury this week?

No chance of getting out of it now!

Let's just hope he behaves.

Organize University

Today I went to an organizing seminar by Deniece Schofield, author of Confessions of an Organized Homemaker, Confessions of a Happily Organized Family and several other organizing books.

I went to one of her seminars about 20 years ago, and while a lot of the information today was not new to me, it was a good motivator to get things moving in the right direction again.

Now I'm ready to tackle that desk.

Almost.

The Devil is in the Detail

What does that mean anyway?


According to the Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings this phrase is a variation of "God is in the details - Whatever one does should be done thoroughly; details are important."


No one takes that phrase more literally than Vern. It's all about the detail work. Of course, details are important - it's what makes something special. It's what makes it stand out. It's also what makes it take forever.

Installing the appliance garage and corner glass door (you did notice the level in the picture, right?)

Installing the cabinet and crown molding over the sink

and then the cabinet doors and stained glass valance

We're not sure about this - just testing out some beadboard between the cabinets and the crown molding (we have beadboard in a couple of other areas too)

I really don't have an explanation for this

The devil is in the details. I just wish the devil would work a little faster.

It Has An Added Feature

Now that my kitchen back up and running (somewhat), I've decided that one of my favorite features of the new range top is that I have a cutting board that covers the griddle. I'm finding it so handy to have a cutting surface right on my cooking area so that I can just chop and toss ingredients right into the pan.

However, I discovered an added feature that I didn't see mentioned anywhere in the user's manual.

Yes, that is Vern. And he is cooking.

I'm not even going to tell him that he's on the wrong side of the range.

That Wascally Wabbit

Some of my upside down tomatoes are getting ripe.

I had more but some stupid rabbit ate them.

So we moved the plants to the upper part of the deck so at least he has to work a little harder to get them.

Did I mention I love a man that knows how to use a level?

Look! He Glows in the Dark!

Vern had what we hope is the last treatment related to his kidney issues today.

They injected him with radioactive isotopes and then filled him up with water to see how his kidneys function and to assess the damage.

We hope this is the end of the road for all of this.

Except for the part where our bathroom is now a radioactive waste dump for the next few days.

It's a Thorny Situation

Wanted: Tree Hugger who is up for a challenge. This might be this stickiest situation you have encountered. It could get prickly at times. If you like to get right to the point, this is the job for you. Multiple piercings okay.

We have these trees in our yard. They are honey locust trees, but Vern calls them the thorny bastards.

They need to be removed.

Vern has the thorn in his head to prove that.

We Have a New State Bird

Ever wondered what goes into building an airplane from beginning to end?

Southwest Airlines recently debuted "Illinois One."

"

Pass The Pepper

My first green peppers from my upside down, topsy turvy plants.

Fresh, organic, and I didn't even have to get my hands dirty.

Share and Share Alike

Share (shâr)

To participate in, use, enjoy, or experience jointly or in turns.

Sorry I Haven't Posted. I Went on a Trip.

Over a dog.

Into the front door.

And through the wall.

I went head first into the door and I'm lucky the glass didn't break. I ended up with a concussion, a serious headache, and very limited neck movement.

Tomorrow I'm taking another trip.

To the chiropractor.

He Gives Me Gas

Natural gas, that is.

(I love a man who knows how to use a level)

Vern worked long and hard installing new gas lines for the gas rangetop. It took a couple of days to get it just the way he wanted it, but I'm happy to report that we now have gas!


And I'm now completely out of the kitchen in the garage.


I might even cook tomorrow.

Dirty Little Secret #2

Just in case one secret wasn't enough, I'll share another, although it may not be as big of a secret as I think.

I'm a starter. I love to dream about a project, plan a project, shop for a project, and start a project. I do not, however, like to finish projects.

So, without further ado, I am adding "finish a few projects" to my July Project of the Month. I'm not saying which ones . . . just that some of the projects I've already started will be finished this month. I'll set a fairly flexible goal of one outstanding project per week just because we have so many other things going on this month.

It might be finishing that sweater where I have to go back and find my mistake, finishing the second sock so that I have a complete pair, finishing one of a multitude of sewing projects, weaving in the ends of a project that I just couldn't stand to look at any more, or even finishing some scrapbook pages that have been abandoned.

So now you have it. All of my secrets.

Well, not all of my secrets. I have to preserve at least some of my dignity.

My Dirty Little Secret

If you ask my friends to use one word to describe me, the word that most often would come up would probably be "organized." It's true. I'm an organizer. However, as my daughter figured out and has so eloquently stated - I like to organize so much that I'm in a constant state of RE-organization. And that basically just leads to a pile of disorganization.


Yes, it's a dirty little secret that I like to keep to myself and almost all of my friends would probably be shocked.


Oh, for sure there are areas that are perfectly organized in my home - at least until I decide to reorganize them. However, one of those areas is NOT my desk.


I was the model of organization when I worked outside of the home. I once even had the president of the company stop by my desk and thank me for having such a neat desk. If only he could see me now. If he's not already dead, he probably would fall over and die right on the spot.


Since I left those days behind, it has been a constant struggle to find the motivation to maintain a neat desk at home. I worked from home for a few years and I do handle all of the "business" of our life, but I've done neither in the same orderly fashion that I brought to my working life and that I strive for in the rest of my home.


Long story short - my desk is a pit where things fall into and never come out. Hard to believe, I know, but I do have photo proof.



Right now, I'm working on a temporary desk in a temporary situation in the temporary space that will eventually be our home office. Therefore, some of my options are limited, but if I'm going to make the most of this small space and make sure that it is designed in a way that best meets our needs, I really need to know what those needs are.


So there you have it - my project of the month for July. File the filing, purge the junk, clean off the surface, and bring a sense of organization to our personal business.


If I were Vern, I would have fired me a long time ago.

A Month of Green

Today brings an end to the month of June and also to the month that I was focusing on being more green in a few areas.

The first area I focused on was simply not using plastic bags. I had hoped not to bring one single bag into the house this month, and although I failed to meet that goal, I didn't fail miserably. We brought less than 10 plastic bags into the house this month, which was WAY less than our regular average. We managed to use reusable bags for almost all purchases. The bags that we did get will be used for purchases at our garage sale.

Which brings me to the second area I focused on - purging. I lost count of the things going out, but I can assure you that we have at least 300 items less than we started the month with.

This is just a portion of the stuff we have sifted through for our garage sale (all of the boxes are full). The garage sale will be sometime next week, and it's going to be a barn burner, that's for sure.

Finally, I vowed to really pay attention to our electricity usage and the hourly rates in an effort to reduce our energy bill. This is probably the area where we had the best success, and it certainly wasn't because of mild weather. We had a lot of very hot weather this past month and had to run our air conditioner because it was simply unbearable. I did, however, check the hourly rates before running the dishwasher and doing laundry, and it was a real eye opener. Our billing cycle runs from mid month to mid month so it's a little deceptive as to savings during the entire month of June, but nevertheless, we managed to save $48 over what the bill would have been on the flat rate plan. That was a 21% savings. It's really an accomplishment because most people are only saving a small percentage on the hourly plan and even less in the summer. Our average total savings over the last year has been $331, which was about 16% less than it would have been on the flat rate plan.

I plan to continue with the good things we started this month. I'm going to make a few more reusable bags so that it's more enticing to use them; I'll definitely be watching the hourly rates (that was a real eye opener for me), and although our garage sale may be over and done with next week, I still plan to keep a ongoing box of items for a future sale or donation.

So what's up for the month of July? I have a couple of ideas, although at least one of them is sort of a dirty little secret that I usually prefer to keep to myself. However, I may just shame myself into forward motion by sharing here. I'll have to sleep on that one, so check back on July 1 to see what the project of the month will be.

Let's Cross This Off and Call It Done

Yes, that's right. This just may be the last post about Vern's kidney boulder.

All tubes have been removed, all surgeries are done, and all that is left is one further test to give us a good idea of just how damaged his kidney is and to make sure that all possible trace of the stone is gone. (We know some remains but it is in a location that is impossible to reach without much more invasive surgery and the doctor feels that it's just better left alone.)

Vern is getting quite a collection of leftover stones that are passing, and he'll be happy to show them to you if you ask politely. Maybe even if you don't.

He's been given permission to return to work in a couple of weeks and he's working on building up his strength again. I'm assisting him in that effort by making sure he has LOTS to do around here. So much work that I am positive he'll be happy to finally get to go back to his real job.

I believe this closes the final chapter and the book of this long and drawn out drama.

I'm hoping that there isn't a sequel.

Progress in the Man Cave

The lumber rack is done.

Rumor has it that work will soon resume on my kitchen.

It darn well better or someone is going to be living in the man cave.

It's a Bird. It's a Plane.

It's a GARAGE!

Yes, that really is my Jeep in the garage. My garage is once again a garage instead of a kitchen.

Technically, I guess it's still a kitchen since my stove is still in there, but I'm avoiding that by eating out, so in my mind. . . it's a garage.

You, My Friend, are on my List

They were doing so well. So very well.

Until someone decided they needed to be fertilized.

And in true Jesse fashion, if one fertilizer stick is good, four must be better.

Dude, you are in SO much trouble. I would avoid me if I were you.

The Best Medicine

Let's just say that for a fairly simple surgery, there sure was a lot of morphine handed out afterwards.

Vern's final surgery, while successful in the end, did not start out or end up too smoothly. He was so dehydrated that they simply could not get a vein for his IV. It was pretty excruciating to watch and much more so, I'm sure, for him to go through.

They wheeled him away to surgery and shuffled me off to the waiting room . . . and then played the hurry up and wait game while an emergency or two took control of the operating rooms. The surgery itself was delayed over two and a half hours.

He was moved into the intensive care unit after surgery both because of the late hour and also because of his pain level. I think there may be a nurse or two there that learned a few new words tonight, and we may owe the hospital some money for the destruction of some of their furniture. They finally got Vern under control by shooting him full of morphine. Four doses of it later and he was purring like a kitten.

And then they sent him home for me to deal with.

But the good news is that the damn stone is gone. Gone, gone, gone. Or at least as much of it is going to go. He has one final procedure to remove some hardware that will take place in the doctor's office in a couple of weeks and then he will be on the road to recovery.

It's been a rocky road, a bumpy ride, and an expensive trip.

Just like the toll roads in Illinois.

I'm Not Amish, But I Can Bake Bread

I love baking bread. There's something very nurturing about turning flour, yeast, and a handful of other ingredients into something warm and nurturing for my family. Something magical about watching the dough rise. Something therapeutic about punching it down and watching it rise to life again. And then there's the smell of bread baking in the oven and the simple pleasure of a slice of bread warm from the oven covered in fresh, real butter.

I've tried a lot of different breads with varying results, but currently this is my favorite for a plain, white bread.

Amish White Bread

Ingredients:
¼ ounce dry yeast (1 pkg)
½ cup water
1/3 cup sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 cups water
2 ½ tablespoons shortening

6-7 cups all purpose or bread flour
1/8 to ¼ cup butter


Directions:
Dissolve yeast in ½ cup warm water (about 110 degrees). Combine sugar, salt, 2 cups water, and shortening. Stir in yeast mixture. Gradually add flour to form a soft dough. Mix with KitchenAid for 15 minutes with dough hook (speed 2). Let rise for about 2 hours. Punch down and divide into 3 loaves. Let rise higher than pans (about 2 hours). Bake at 375 for 20-25 minutes. Cool for 10 minutes and brush with melted butter.

The original recipe called for dividing the dough in half and making only 2 loaves, but each loaf was so large that it wouldn't fit in my bread keeper.

I use my KitchenAid to knead the dough, but there's no reason you can't do it by hand if you are a traditionalist. Or by bread machine if you are more modern.

Myself? I like the combination of using a stand mixer for the heavy work and my oven for baking it the traditional way.

I should note that the last time I made this bread, I wrapped two of the loaves in waxed paper and put them into the freezer (after the first rise, but before the second rise). I was then able to just take out a frozen loaf, let it thaw and complete the second rise and then bake for a fresh loaf of bread - - - straight from the freezer.

Mmmmm. That loaf should be just about cool enough to eat now. A cup of tea, warm bread, and fresh butter. It just doesn't get any better than that.

A Thank You and an Offer You Can't Resist

Vern received a yummy cookie bouquet from the guys he works with at Southwest, and we want to send out a huge "thank you" to all of them.

I've been told that you are all waiting for gory pictures. Unfortunately, I don't have many gory pictures that are safe to share.

I do, however, have an offer for you.

He needs someone to hold his pee bag for him when he returns to work. Any takers?

Two more surgeries and a few more weeks, and he'll be back to work. Someone clean off the couch for him, okay?

Meanwhile, Back at the Man Cave

Work continues on the "wall o' lumber."

There was apparently a memo sent out about an official uniform.

Not everyone got the dress code memo, but Lincoln and Jackson tried to help anyway.


Loaded and ready to go.

A plywood rack still needs to be built, but I have been guaranteed that, once completed, Vern will be 100% more efficient.

Come visit the blog again when you have quit laughing about that one.

Two Wrongs Make a Right

Who doesn't have t-shirts in their closet that they don't wear for one reason or another? This one has a stain, that one is too short, there's a hole in the front of the other one. You know the drill, I'm sure.

I have a few of those shirts, and it occurred to me that I could make one good thing out of two not so good things.

Enter Exhibit A (too short) (By the way, the necklace that JoAnn is wearing isn't my taste, but it was one that I gave my mom when I was much younger. She always thought it was the coolest thing - she was a professional seamstress - so JoAnn wears it proudly in her memory.)



And Exhibit B (what was I thinking - every time I wore this I had to answer questions about what it meant and besides, I don't scrapbook anymore so it was rather irrelevant to my current life.)


I usually layered the two shirts, but the constant pulling and tugging just wasn't working for me since the white t-shirt is REALLY short.

Enter my unlimited imagination and limited sewing skills.

I cut five inches off of the bottom of the black shirt and stitched it to the bottom of the white shirt. There were a couple of ways that I could have done this, but since I am essentially lazy (just keeping it real here), I simply stitched over the double stitching at the hem of the white shirt, catching the top of the cut off section of the black shirt.



Hmmm. Good, but still not quite right. Now it just looks like I added a band of knit fabric around the bottom of a white t-shirt (imagine that!)

On to the neck. I really didn't need any extra neckline since this is actually one of the few shirts I own that don't expose my boobs to the entire world. However, I thought it would add a little bit of continuity to the layered look. I removed the tags on both necklines to reduce the bulk before stitching (again, right over the double stitching of the neckline on the white t-shirt).


Yes, much better.

But it still could be improved.

Wash, rinse, and repeat the above steps with the sleeves. That served two purposes because the sleeves on the white t-shirt were just a little too short to cover up my flabby arms for my taste anyway.

Much, much better.

There you have it - the no cost, low effort way to expanding your wardrobe and making more room in your closet.

Lazy and cheap. It fits me to a tee.

How is This for Irony?

Vern has been off of work for three months. We spoke to the doctor and got the schedule for the final (hopefully) two surgeries that he's going to need to have as well as his recovery period. He should be off work for another month or so.

He called his work trade partner to let him know when he would most likely be returning to work.

Today, he received . . .

A notice for jury duty.

For the week he is supposed to return to work.

Honestly folks, I couldn't make this stuff up.

Rack Em' Up

Since Jesse is here for a while, Vern decided to use his help to get his shop into shape. Vern can't do much heavy work right now, so having a couple of extra hands and a strong back is a big help.

Their first order of business was to build a lumber rack. They are basing it on a design found here - Lumber Rack.

They spent a couple of days drywalling and painting and then were ready to start the fun part.

Lincoln helping lay out the lumber for the framework.

(Jackson was sleeping happily inside where it is air conditioned.)

Getting the frame up on the wall.

Vern - organizing some of his shop cabinets.

Mmmm, I love a man that knows how to use a level.

Jesse - wondering what he got himself into.

Cost of materials to build lumber rack - $220

Time to build lumber rack - 1 week

Time to myself while they are in the man cave - Priceless.

A Little More Housekeeping

Sorry - just a couple more changes to the blog just to confuse everyone.

I'll leave it alone now.

Unless I decide to change it.

Like a Bad Penny

He's back. Like a bad penny.


Jesse stayed with us for two weeks and went on to his new home in Indiana last Wednesday.


On Sunday, he called and asked if it would be okay if he came back for a while. Apparently the flooding is so bad in southern Indiana that they were evacuating the area where he was living.


So, he returned on Monday. A mere four days after he left. We barely missed him.



Oh well - it's not like there isn't a ton of stuff he can help out with around here! Jesse isn't married, but that doesn't stop me from giving him a "Honey Do" list.



Honey, can you trim all the trees? Yes, even the really high branches.

Honey, can you put the branches you trimmed on the fire?
Honey, can you help drywall the shop? And then you can paint it.

Yes ladies - he's single. But he comes partially broken in. And with his own bucket truck.

I'm Against Rules

There must be something in my past that makes me incapable of following rules.


I mean, I read directions. I just refuse to follow them.


I don't know why I do that. The results are almost always bad, and I end up saying "I don't know why I don't follow the rules."

But, alas, I don't.


My herbs and vegetables were growing so well that I was infused with a sense of confidence overconfidence. I bought a couple of small herb planters today while I was shopping wasting time at Menards with Vern. (It was his first trip out since he got out of the hospital; I had to indulge him a little.)



The directions said to mix the dirt with water and then plant five seeds from each of the three packets of herbs included in the kit. Wait. What? FIVE seeds? Five tiny little seeds? Each packet had at least 30 seeds. I'm supposed to pick out five teeny, tiny little seeds and plant just those?


Screw that. I sprinkled the whole darn package and called it good.


I expect great things. It doesn't mean I'll get them, but I expect them.

Wait, Wait! Don't Go.

You're at the right place.

I'm just doing a little housekeeping and brightening up for the summer.

Sometimes you just have to take out the trash and freshen things up a little.

Sew and Grow

First the sew.

I whipped up a couple of summer tunics from Simplicity 3624. (I made the 4th view - View D - but lengthened it by about 5".) (You can click on any of the photos for a larger view)

Other than being a little bit fussy at the shoulder seams, they were a fast and simple sew. I had the black and white fabric, which was a dream to sew with, and I picked up the stretch brown knit for $1.00 per yard at Walmart. I don't like to spend too much on fabric unless I'm making something special since I tend to wear something for one or two seasons and then pass it on. I'll be making this pattern again (maybe one of the other versions with a less fussy shoulder seam construction) because it's a flattering shape and fit.

Although can I just ask "what the heck is up with all of these super low cut shirts?" I thought it was just ready to wear, but every pattern I pick up lately definitely wants to display some serious boobage.

(JoAnn, as usual, is looking a little rounder than I would prefer. She really needs to go on a diet sometime soon.)

Now for the grow.

A big "screw you!" to all of you who had doubts in my gardening abilities or in my homemade topsy turvy planters. It was only a matter of a day or two and all of the leaves on my plants turned upwards and now they are growing happily upside down.

In fact, I have a few green peppers already getting large enough to start dreaming about how I am going to use them and tomatoes on each of my three different tomato varieties.

Green Peppers

Cherry Tomatoes

Roma Tomatoes

Beefsteak Tomatoes

So ha! I can do anything! I could probably even garden, sew, knit and balance a pizza on my head at the same time.

Home Again

Vern is home from the hospital. We should know more about what the next step is after a few days when he has more tests and sees the doctor. We know there will be at least one more surgery in the next few weeks and some other issues to deal with in the future, but for now, we hope this is the beginning of the end of this particular problem and that he will be on his feet, back to work, and in full possession of his "happy" in the near future.


Once again, thank you to the same people as usual. Your support is so very much appreciated.


I could say more, but at the moment, I'm just happy to have my husband home and on what we hope is finally the road to recovery.

Ninety

Ninety.

Ninety degrees - the temperature for the past couple of days and the next several days. Too freaking hot for June if you ask me.

Ninety percent - the percent of stone that the doctor thinks he was able to remove today.

The surgery was several hours long, and as of this moment, I haven't gotten to see Vern since the surgery went so long and he was in recovery pretty late into the evening. However, I have spoken to him (if you could call it that - he was pretty drugged up and I doubt he'll remember) and also to the doctor. Vern will still be in the hospital for another day or two at least.

We won't know for sure what the status is until another CT scan is done of his kidney next week, but the doctor felt sure that the largest portion of the stone has been removed and that only a handful of stone remains. He said it was like nothing he has ever seen before.

At this point (at least the doctor's first impression before he sees the CT scan), this will probably end the attempts to remove the stone. He felt that Vern has been through enough (I believe he used the phrase that poor guy several times). There may be an effort to remove the remaining stone through less invasive measures later or he may just monitor it for a while. He's still going to need at least one more surgery to remove all of the hardware and tubes they had to leave in for safety reasons.

There are a few complications we are going to have to deal with, but since I don't know if Vern has been advised of those yet (and for sure he wasn't fully conscious if he was), I'll save those for another day.

But for now, we're going to call this one good news for a change.


Except, you know, for the part about the unending 90 degree days. That part sucks.