It's trash day at Uno Acres and while Vern is out in his shop trying to prove to me that he is not a hoarder (I can throw this away, really I can . . . ), I decided it was a good time to empty out our refrigerator and freezer and give it a good spring cleaning.
Life has many great mysteries. You can find them everywhere. Today I found them in my refrigerator.
Mystery 1: I found out that I have three boxes of phyllo dough. Count them - one, two, three. And yet I've never used phyllo dough in my entire life. In fact, not only did I find massive quantities of phyllo dough, but I also found a box of frozen puff pastry, yet another thing I've never used.
Mystery 2: Along the same lines as Mystery 1, I found a brand new jar of Smuckers cherry preserves. No one in our house likes cherry preserves. An internet search provides lots of ways to MAKE cherry preserves, but not one damn way to use them.
Mystery 3: Despite the fact that I know for certain that I've cleaned my refrigerator since 2007 (we didn't even HAVE this refrigerator then), I found several items that expired in 2007. Three YEARS ago. This happens every single time I clean out the refrigerator. It's as if the Expiration Fairy blesses me with a visit every month or two and adds a few special treats just to see if I'm paying attention.
Mystery 4, 5, and 6: Mystery meat, mystery broth, and mystery leftovers. Enough said.
Mystery 7: Someone is hiding their candy in the freezer.
Come to think of it, that's more of a perk than a mystery. I say finders keepers, and while Vern is in the shop proving he is not a hoarder, I'm going to be eating a candy bar and proving that housework really DOES make you fat.